The “Convenience Store” Friend

Hey everyone, it’s Tina. Grab a coffee—or a glass of wine, I’m not judging—and sit down, because we need to have a little heart-to-heart.

I posted a quote recently that said: “Please fuck off if you think that it’s okay to only talk to me when it’s convenient for you.” It’s blunt, I know. My grandmother would probably wash my mouth out with soap, but sometimes the truth doesn’t need a garnish.

The “Seasonal Friend” Phenomenon

We’ve all had that one person, right? Let’s call them “The Seasonal Friend.” They treat you like a literal 7-Eleven. They only show up when they need a late-night snack of emotional validation, a quick hit of gossip, or a favor that they “totally promise to return” (spoiler: they won’t).

The Late-Night Favor Text

You know the drill. Your phone buzzes at 11:30 PM on a Tuesday. You haven’t heard from this person in six months—not a “Happy Birthday,” not a “How’s your mom?”, nothing. You open the message and it’s:

OMG Tina!! Long time no see! Hope you’re amazing. Listen, I remembered you’re really good at Excel… could you look at this spreadsheet for me? It’s for work and I’m drowning lol!

Oh, you’re drowning? That’s funny, because I’ve been right here on the shore for half a year and you didn’t even wave.

The Universal Punctuation of a Parasite

It’s the “lol” at the end that really gets me. It’s the universal punctuation for “I know I’m being a bit of a parasite, but let’s pretend this is a cute social interaction.”

Availability Without Reciprocity

I used to be the Queen of “It’s Okay!” I’d reply instantly. I’d fix the spreadsheet. I’d listen to the three-hour venting session about the boyfriend I told them to dump in 2022. I thought being a “good friend” meant being available 24/7.

But here’s the thing I realized: Availability without reciprocity is just an unpaid internship.

The One-Sided Friendship Pattern

I started noticing a pattern. When I had a bad day? Radio silence. When I wanted to grab a celebratory drink because I finally didn’t kill my office plants? “Oh, I’m so busy, let’s do raincheck!”

Eventually, that raincheck starts looking like a permanent drought.

Setting Boundaries and Embracing the Villain Era

Setting boundaries feels mean at first. It feels like you’re being the villain in someone else’s story. But honestly? I’m enjoying my villain era.

Nowadays, if I see a “convenience” text, I let it marinate. I don’t feel that frantic urge to be “helpful Tina” anymore. If you can’t check in on me when things are going well, don’t check in on me when you need a life raft. Relationships aren’t vending machines—you can’t just kick them until a candy bar falls out.

Busy Friends vs. Convenient Friends

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Wait, am I that person?”—don’t panic. Life gets busy. We all drop the ball. But there’s a difference between being a busy friend and being a selfish one.

• Busy Friends: Might take three days to text back, but they ask how you are when they do.
• Convenient Friends: Only text back when the conversation is about them.

Closing the Store for Good

So, to the people who only remember my number when their car breaks down or they’re bored on a long drive: The store is closed. I’ve pulled down the metal shutters, turned off the neon “Open” sign, and I’m currently out back enjoying my own peace and quiet.

I’d rather have three “ride-or-die” friends who actually know what’s going on in my life than 50 “convenient” ones who only know my name when they need something.

Does this resonate with any of you? Have you ever had to “fire” a friend who only showed up when it suited them? Drop a comment and tell me your stories—I promise I’ll read them, and not just when it’s convenient for me!