I saw a quote today that stopped me mid-scroll. You know the kind—the ones that are usually plastered over a picture of a sunset or a moody lion. This one was simple text, but it screamed at me.
It read: “I Made Some Mistakes I Can’t Change But I Changed So I Won’t Make The Same Mistakes.”
And I thought, well, damn. If that isn’t the summary of my entire existence.
Let’s be real for a second. We need to talk about mistakes. Not the “oops, I forgot to buy milk” mistakes. I’m talking about the colossal, spectacular, what-was-I-thinking disasters that keep us awake at 3:00 AM staring at the ceiling fan.
We have all been there. If you say you haven’t, you are lying, and that’s a mistake right there.
I look back at “Past Tina” sometimes and I just want to hug her. And then maybe shake her a little bit.
I have made mistakes that I cannot change. Oh, boy, have I.
I’ve wasted time on people who didn’t deserve a second of my energy. I’ve said “yes” when my gut was screaming “NO” through a megaphone. I’ve bought clothes that looked great on the mannequin but made me look like a confused potato. I have trusted the wrong friends, dated the walking red flags, and sent texts that I wished I could claw back from the airwaves the second I hit send.
For a long time, I beat myself up about those things. I’d replay the tapes in my head. Why did I say that? Why did I let them treat me like that? Why did I think bangs were a good idea in 2015?
But here is the thing about the quote that hit me hard: “I Can’t Change.”
That part is annoying, isn’t it? We want a time machine. We want a re-do button. But we don’t get one. Those mistakes are set in stone. They are the foundation of the house we are living in now. And honestly? Some of those mistakes were fun while they lasted. (Okay, maybe not the bangs. That was just tragic.)
This is the redemption arc, folks. This is where the movie gets good.
The quote says, “But I changed.” And that is the absolute truth. You cannot go through the fire without coming out a little different on the other side.
I am not the same woman I was five years ago. Heck, I’m not the same woman I was five months ago. The Tina writing this today has a backbone of steel that the old Tina was still trying to grow.
The old me might have tolerated nonsense just to keep the peace. The new me? I choose my peace. The old me might have tried to explain myself to people who were committed to misunderstanding me. The new me realizes that “No” is a complete sentence.
I have changed because I had to. The mistakes forced me to level up. Every time I fell on my face, I learned how to land a little better the next time. I learned that my intuition is usually right. I learned that I am stronger than I give myself credit for.
And finally, the kicker: “So I Won’t Make The Same Mistakes.”
Notice the wording there. It doesn’t say “I won’t make any mistakes.”
Oh, no. Let’s not get crazy. I am absolutely going to make mistakes. I am probably making one right now. I might burn dinner tonight. I might trust someone a little too quickly next year. I might accidentally reply “You too” when the waiter says “Enjoy your meal.”
But I won’t make the same mistakes.
I won’t let people walk all over me again. That door is closed.
I won’t ignore the red flags just because they’re painted a pretty color.
I won’t apologize for taking up space or having an opinion.
The beauty of growing up (and hopefully glowing up) is that we graduate to better mistakes. We make new, exciting, sophisticated mistakes! We make mistakes that come from trying new things, not from repeating old patterns.
So, to my past self: I forgive you. You did the best you could with the information (and the level of patience) you had at the time.
And to my future self: Good luck, girl. Try not to do anything too embarrassing, but if you do, at least make sure it makes for a good story for the blog.
Because at the end of the day, if we aren’t making mistakes, are we even really living?
Cheers to the new mistakes,
Tina