They Can’t See It 

You know what’s funny about people? They are really, really good at watching the movie trailer of your life and thinking they can write a detailed review of the whole film.

They see the snapshot. They see the moment. They see the reaction. But they never, ever see it.

“They can’t see it.”

The Movie Trailer vs. The Whole Film

I was thinking about this today because, let’s be real, how many times have we been painted as the “bad guy” or the “crazy one” or the “difficult one” because of a single moment in time?

They see you snap. They see the text message where you finally lost your cool. They see you blocking someone. They see you walking away without saying goodbye. And suddenly, the jury is out. “Oh, Tina is being dramatic.” “Oh, she’s too much.” “Why is she acting like that?”

The Tea They Are Missing

But here is the tea that they are missing: They can’t see the “it.”

They can’t see the three years of patience you had before you finally snapped. They can’t see the 57 times you swallowed your pride and apologized just to keep the peace. They can’t see the nights you cried yourself to sleep wondering why you weren’t enough. They can’t see the disrespect that was served to you on a silver platter while you smiled and ate it up because you were trying to be “the bigger person.”

They see the explosion. They don’t see the fuse that was being lit, day after day, by the very people pointing fingers at you.

The Invisible Backpack of Bricks

It’s like walking around with an invisible backpack full of bricks. People look at you and say, “Why are you walking so slow? Why are you sweating? Why are you so grumpy?” They can’t see the bricks. They just see you struggling and judge the struggle instead of the weight.

And honestly? It’s frustrating. It makes you want to scream, “ROLL THE TAPE! LET’S LOOK AT THE FOOTAGE!” I wish I could walk around with a body cam footage of my life just to replay it for people. “See? Right there! That’s why I’m crazy! That’s why I yelled! Exhibit A, B, and C!”

Waiting for the Body Cam App

But we can’t do that. (Unfortunately. If there’s an app for that being developed, let me know).

Learning to Be Okay With Being Misunderstood

So we have to learn to be okay with being misunderstood. We have to be okay with them not seeing “it.” Because the people who really know you? The people who matter? They don’t just see the reaction; they know your heart. They know that if Tina is yelling, it’s because Tina cares. They know that if I’m “toxic,” it’s because I’m fiercely protecting something I love.

Let the Spectators Talk

Let the spectators talk. Let them judge the clip they saw on their feed. You lived the whole movie. You know the plot. You know the character development. And you know exactly why you did what you did.

They can’t see it. And frankly? They don’t have the range to understand it anyway.

Keep doing you.

— Tina