Welcome back to the chaotic chronicles of my life. Grab a coffee—or a glass of wine, I’m not judging—because Tina has some thoughts today.
You know that specific, sinking feeling when you realize you’re being treated like a software update? You know, the kind where the other person keeps hitting “Remind Me Later” until eventually, you’re just a background task they forgot was even running?
I saw a quote recently that hit me right in the soul:
“You lost me the moment you started moving like I wasn’t sh*t to lose.”
Ouch. My ego felt that one. But also? My self-respect stood up and started clapping.
Deconstructing the Shift in Behavioral Patterns
Let’s talk about “moving.” It’s such a subtle word, isn’t it? It’s not always a big, dramatic blow-up or a cinematic breakup in the rain. Usually, it’s the shift in the way someone navigates their world with you in it.
It’s the shift from “I can’t wait to tell you about my day” to “Oh, did I not mention I’m going to Vegas for the weekend?” It’s the way they start making decisions as if your feelings are just… optional. Like a side of fries they forgot to order but realized they didn’t really want anyway.
When someone starts “moving” like you’re permanent furniture—something they can sit on, lean on, or ignore because they know it’ll be there when they get back—that’s when the magic dies.
The Audacity of the Relationship Subscription Model
I’ve realized that some people have this incredible superpower: The Audacity. They get so comfortable that they forget relationships require maintenance.
They start acting like you’re a subscription service they’ve already paid for for the next ten years. They stop trying. They stop checking in. They start “moving” like their actions have zero consequences because, in their head, Tina isn’t going anywhere.
Newsflash: Tina has legs. And a car. And a very high standard for her own peace of mind.
Shifting from “Chill” Friend to Protecting Personal Boundaries
I used to think being “chill” meant letting things slide. I’d tell myself, “Oh, they’re just busy,” or “They didn’t mean to be dismissive.” But there’s a massive difference between being a supportive partner/friend and being a doormat with “Welcome” written in sparkly letters.
There is a very specific moment when you stop being hurt and start being done.
The “Aha!” Moment of True Self-Awareness
It’s that “Aha!” moment where you watch them do something—or fail to do something—and you realize they aren’t afraid of losing you. They aren’t even considering the possibility. They are moving with the reckless confidence of someone who thinks you’re a fixed point in their universe.
And that’s usually when I decide to become a shooting star. Zip. Gone.
It’s funny, actually. The moment you start matching their energy, they suddenly find their GPS. When you stop being the one to reach out, stop being the one to plan, and start moving like they aren’t the center of your world, they get so confused.
“Wait, why aren’t you chasing me?”
Because, honey, I’m tired, and these shoes weren’t made for sprinting after someone who’s walking away.
Hard Lessons on the Value of Presence
If you’re reading this and nodding along, here is what I’ve learned (usually the hard way):
The Self-Respect Framework
- Your “Presence” is a Privilege: If they treat it like a right, revoke the license.
- Watch the “Movement,” Not the Words: People can say you’re the world to them, but if they’re navigating their life like you’re just a tiny island they visit once a year, believe the navigation, not the brochure.
- Humor is a Shield, but Respect is the Sword: I can joke about being ghosted or ignored all day, but at the end of the day, I’d rather be alone and laughing than “together” and feeling invisible.
Embracing a Low Tolerance for Being Taken for Granted
So, to anyone who thinks they can move through life like I’m a “given”—thank you for the lesson. You taught me that my value isn’t determined by how much you’re willing to risk to keep me; it’s determined by how much I’m willing to tolerate to stay.
And it turns out? My tolerance for being “nothing to lose” is officially at zero.
I’m moving differently now, too. I’m moving toward people who know that losing me would actually suck. I’m moving toward peace, better coffee, and people who don’t make me feel like I’m “disposable.”
Share Your Story
Have you ever had that “I’m done” moment where you realized someone took you for granted? Tell me your story in the comments—let’s realize our worth together (and maybe roast a few exes while we’re at it).