Listen… if you decide to quit anything this year, please — and I mean this with my whole chest — quit bringing me up.
The Exhaustion of Being the Topic
I’m tired.
Not physically tired. Emotionally tired. Spiritually tired. Tired in ways sleep does not fix.
You ever be minding your business — like really minding it — and somehow your name ends up in a conversation you were never invited to? Yeah. That.
Living Rent-Free in Other People’s Mouths
I didn’t apply for the role.
I didn’t audition.
I didn’t submit a resume.
Yet here I am, living rent-free in people’s mouths.
At this point, I deserve a lease agreement.
Because why is it that every time someone feels uncomfortable, insecure, defensive, or just plain bored… my name gets pulled out like a plot twist?
What kills me is I don’t even be doing anything. I’m not bothering anyone. I’m not poking bears. I’m not starting fires. I’m just out here existing, drinking my water, trying to live my life in peace.
And still…
“Did you hear about Tina?”
“What do you think Tina thinks?”
“Well Tina said—”
“Tina would probably—”
No. Tina would probably like y’all to log out.
Why People Keep Bringing Me Up: The Mirror Effect
Here’s the thing — if someone is constantly bringing you up, it’s rarely about you. It’s about them trying to make sense of something they haven’t healed, processed, or accepted yet.
And I get it. We all do it sometimes. But if my name keeps showing up in conversations I’m not in, it tells me I’m not the problem — I’m the mirror.
And mirrors make people uncomfortable.
What’s funny (and by funny I mean exhausting) is how people will swear they don’t care about you… while caring enough to keep mentioning you.
- If you’re truly unbothered, my name shouldn’t even cross your mind.
- If you’re truly healed, I shouldn’t be a topic.
- If you’re truly done, I shouldn’t still be relevant.
Yet here we are.
Choosing Silence and Growth Over Defense
I used to take it personally. I used to feel the need to defend myself. Correct the narrative. Explain my side. Clear my name like I was on trial for crimes I didn’t commit.
But growth will humble you.
Now?
I let people talk.
Because the people who know me don’t need explanations — and the people who don’t… were never going to understand me anyway.
And honestly? Silence is loud. Not reacting is powerful. Letting people reveal themselves without interruption is one of the most freeing things you can do.
What to Actually Quit This Year
So yeah — if you’re making a list this year:
- Quit people-pleasing.
- Quit over-explaining.
- Quit carrying what isn’t yours.
And please — for the love of peace — quit bringing me up.
Busy Protecting My Energy
Not because I’m bothered…
But because I’m busy.
My New Daily Focus
- Busy healing.
- Busy growing.
- Busy laughing.
- Busy protecting my energy.
- Busy choosing peace over proving points.
If my name comes up, let it come up in rooms I’m welcomed in. Let it come up with respect. Let it come up with honesty. Or better yet — don’t let it come up at all.
Because I’m done being a reference point for other people’s issues.
And if that offends someone?
That’s their work to do — not mine.
Until next time,
Tina