The “Victim” Narrative

Alright, let’s talk about it. I recently got a comment—well, more like a digital eye-roll—asking, “Why you always the victim in all your stories? Yo character weak or sum?!”

First of all, ouch. Second of all, grab your iced coffee (mine’s a Philz, obviously), because we need to clear the air.

If you’ve been following “Stories from Tina,” you know I don’t sugarcoat. I’ve shared the raw, messy parts of my life—from being homeless and pregnant to navigating the complicated dance of co-parenting across continents. If sharing those struggles makes me look like a “victim,” then I think we need to look up the definition of strength.

There’s this weird idea that “strong” people just steamroll through life without ever feeling the hit. But as a nurse, I can tell you: even the strongest bones can break under enough pressure. What matters is how they knit back together.

Writing these stories isn’t about looking for a pity party. It’s about being human.

• The “Victim” Label: People love to use this word when you’re honest about the things you didn’t choose. I didn’t choose the hardships, but I did choose to survive them.

• The Reality: If I only wrote about my wins, this blog would be two sentences long and incredibly boring. Real life is lived in the “in-between” moments where things go wrong.

To the person who asked if my character is “weak”—honey, “weak” doesn’t survive what I’ve walked through.

Weakness is hiding your truth because you’re afraid of what people will think. Strength is standing in your truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. My “character” isn’t defined by the fact that I’ve been hurt; it’s defined by the fact that I’m still here, still working, still loving my kids, and still finding the humor in the chaos.

“If my stories make you uncomfortable, it might not be because I’m playing a victim—it might be because you’re not used to seeing someone be this real.”

We’ve all been there. You’re trying to do the right thing—like making decisions about family trips or navigating old heartbreaks—and someone comes along to tell you you’re doing it wrong.

It’s easy to judge the story when you aren’t the one holding the pen. But for everyone else who feels like they’re constantly “the victim” of circumstance: keep writing your story anyway. The chapters where you’re struggling are usually the ones that lead to the biggest breakthroughs.

So, am I “weak”? Only when I’m trying to resist a second Iced Mint Mojito. Other than that? I think I’m doing just fine.

What do you think? Have you ever been told you’re “playing the victim” just for being honest about your life? Let’s chat in the comments.