You know, I saw a meme the other day that hit me right in the spirit. It said, “You can’t break a mf like me. I’ve been around hating ass mfs since I was a kid.” I had to sit with that for a second because, honestly? Period.
Welcome back to Stories from Tina, where we’re keeping it all the way real. If you’ve been following my journey, you know I’ve survived everything from being homeless while pregnant to navigating the complex world of nursing and co-parenting across continents. But if there is one thing that has been a constant—like a shadow you didn’t ask for—it’s people having an opinion on how I live my life.
Have you ever noticed that the people with the most to say about your choices are usually the ones who couldn’t walk a mile in your Crocs? (And let’s be real, as a nurse, I live in those.)
Whether it’s family, old “friends,” or just people who think they have a front-row seat to your business, there’s always someone ready to throw a flag on the play. Lately, I’ve been dealing with a lot of noise about how I handle my family dynamics—who goes where, who stays here, and why I make the decisions I do for my peace.
The funny thing about being “unbreakable” isn’t that you don’t feel the hits; it’s that you’ve been conditioned for them.
Level 1: The Childhood Critics. Some of us grew up in environments where “constructive criticism” was just a polite word for “hating.” You learn early on to develop a thick skin.
• Level 2: The “Concerned” Friends. These are the ones who say, “I just want what’s best for you,” while actively trying to make you feel guilty for setting a boundary.
• Level 3: The Social Media Scrutiny. Because apparently, everyone is an expert on your life once you post a status.
I recently had to tell some folks “no” regarding a trip. They weren’t happy. Actually, they were upset. But here’s the thing: Your “No” is a complete sentence. Being a Leo, I’m naturally protective of my pride—and I don’t mean the zodiac sign, I mean my peace of mind. I’ve reached an age where I realized that if I spend all my time trying to keep everyone else happy, I’ll be the one left feeling broken. And as the meme says, I’m not easily broken.
When you’ve survived the trenches, a little bit of attitude from people who don’t agree with your travel plans or your parenting style feels like a breeze. It’s not even a storm anymore; it’s just a light drizzle.
“You can’t break someone who has already put themselves back together a dozen times.”
So, how do we deal with the “hating ass mfs” without losing our cool?
1. Check the Source: If you wouldn’t ask them for advice, why are you taking their criticism?
2. Keep it Moving: Silence is a powerful response. You don’t owe everyone an explanation for why you changed your phone number or why you’re doing what’s best for your kids.
3. Find Your Humor: Sometimes you just have to laugh. When someone tries to bring drama to your doorstep, just imagine them as a toddler having a tantrum. It makes it a lot harder to take them seriously.
4. Sip Your Coffee: Literally. Go get that iced Philz, take a long sip, and remember that you are the CEO of your own life.
To anyone reading this who feels like they’re being tested: remember where you came from. Remember what you’ve already survived. You’ve been dealing with “haters” since the playground; don’t let them get the best of you now that you’re grown and blessed.
I’m staying in my lane, keeping my circle tight, and making sure my peace is protected. If that makes people upset, well… I’ve got some nursing shifts to cover and a blog to write. I don’t have time to be broken!