The Gold Medal Goes To…

Welcome back to Stories from Tina, where we discuss the mess, the stress, and the absolute foolishness that comes with dating in the 21st century.

Grab your tea, your coffee, or something stronger (I won’t judge), because today we need to talk about a specific breed of human being. You know the one. I was scrolling through my feed today and I saw a post that stopped me dead in my tracks. It said:

“A narcissist wants a relationship where they do whatever they want and you don’t complain. That level of delusion is wild.”

I screamed. I literally screamed. Because if that isn’t the truest thing I have read all year, I don’t know what is.

Let’s really unpack this “level of delusion,” shall we? Because it is not just wild, it is feral.

We have all met this person. Maybe you dated him, maybe you married him, maybe you’re currently ignoring his text messages (stay strong, sis). He is the guy who treats the relationship like a dictatorship where he is the King, the Prime Minister, and the Supreme Court, and you? You are just the peasant who should be grateful to witness his greatness.

The logic—if we can even call it that—is truly baffling.

He wants to go out with the boys until 4 AM, turn off his location, and not answer his phone? Totally fine. He’s a free spirit! Don’t stifle him!

But you want to go to brunch with your girlfriends and post a cute selfie? Oh, now we have a problem. Now you’re “acting single.” Now he needs to have a talk about “boundaries.”

The most hilarious part of this dynamic is the “you don’t complain” clause. These men really walk around thinking that your silence is agreement. They think that because you haven’t burned the house down yet, you must be perfectly happy with the fact that he forgot your birthday/anniversary/existence.

They want a appliance, not a partner. They want a toaster. A toaster sits on the counter, makes toast when you want it, and never asks, “Hey, where were you last night?” or “Why did you like your ex’s picture on Instagram?”

But here is where the humor comes in, because you have to laugh to keep from crying (or catching a charge). The moment—the exact second—you decide to match their energy, the world implodes.

Have you ever tried treating a narcissist exactly the way they treat you? It is a social experiment I highly recommend if you have good insurance. The level of shock on their face! They look at you with these big, confused puppy eyes like, “How dare you do exactly what I have been doing to you for six months? The disrespect!”

The delusion is actually impressive.

Honestly, sometimes I have to admire the confidence. Imagine waking up every day and thinking you are God’s gift to women, despite bringing absolutely nothing to the table but stress, half-truths, and an empty stomach. That kind of self-belief? I need to bottle it and sell it. I’d be a billionaire.

They live in a reality where the rules of gravity don’t apply to them. They think they can throw a boomerang of bad behavior and it won’t come back to hit them in the forehead.

So, what do we do?

If you are reading this and nodding your head so hard your neck hurts, listen to Tina: You are not crazy. You are not “asking for too much.” You are not “too sensitive.”

You are dealing with someone who wants a fan, not a girlfriend. They want an audience member who claps when they enter the room and stays silent when they mess up.

But we aren’t extras in their movie, ladies. We are the directors of our own.

So the next time Mr. Delusional tries to tell you that you’re “nagging” because you asked for basic respect, just remember that quote. Remember that his goal is a relationship where he runs wild and you stay mute.

And then? politely decline the subscription to his issues. Block him, bless him, and go find someone who wants a partner, not a puppet.

Until next time, keep your standards high and your tolerance for nonsense low.

XOXO,

Tina