Okay, family, let’s have a little heart-to-heart. Or actually, let’s have a “me-to-me” heart-to-heart that I’m graciously letting you read, because if there is one thing that speaks to my soul right now, it is this image.
I saw this and literally screamed, “YES.” I felt it in my spirit. I felt it in my tired bones. I felt it in that part of my brain that starts planning my escape route the second I walk into a crowded room.
Because let’s be real for a second: It is hard asf to get next to me. And that is not an accident. That is by design. That is architectural landscaping for my life.
For the longest time, I thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t have that burning desire to be everywhere, knowing everyone, doing everything. You know the type—the people who have a panic attack if they don’t have plans on a Friday night? Yeah, couldn’t be me. If my Friday night involves me, a bonnet, a snack I don’t have to share, and absolute silence? That is not a boring night. That is a luxury vacation.
The older I get, the more I realize that my “bubble” isn’t a fortress of solitude because I’m sad or lonely. It’s a VIP section, and the bouncer is strict.
“I ain’t pressed for no friends.”
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my people. The real ones know who they are. But am I out here auditing for new cast members in the reality show of my life? No. Absolutely not. The roster is full. The budget is maxed out.
People take this the wrong way sometimes. They think you’re being stuck up or acting funny. But it’s really just about energy conservation. Do you know how much energy it takes to sustain a surface-level friendship? The small talk? The “we should grab lunch” texts that neither of us actually wants to follow through on? The pretending to care about drama that has absolutely nothing to do with me?
I’m exhausted just typing that.
I reached a point where I realized that if I’m not vibing with you on a spiritual, “we can sit in silence and it’s not awkward” level, I’m good. I don’t need a squad. I don’t need an entourage. I need peace. If your presence doesn’t bring me more peace than my solitude does, then I’m sorry, but you’re competing with a really high standard. My own company is top-tier. I am hilarious. I have great taste in snacks. I never interrupt myself. Why would I trade that for a headache?
“Im not desperate to sleep with nobody.”
Can we scream this from the rooftops, please? There is a level of power that comes when you stop looking for validation in other people, especially romantic interests. When you are truly content in your own skin, you stop tolerating nonsense just to say you have somebody.
I’m not desperate for a text back. I’m not desperate to be “chosen.” I choose me. Every single day. And because I’m not desperate, I can smell the games from a mile away. The second I sense that “waste my time” energy? Blocked. Deleted. Expelled. I don’t have the bandwidth to teach grown adults how to act right.
“I be content asf in my own lil bubble.”
My bubble is sanctified ground. In my bubble, there is no drama. In my bubble, the music is always good. In my bubble, I don’t have to explain myself or perform for anybody.
People try to pop the bubble. They try to drag you into their mess, their chaos, their “he said, she said.” And looking at them from inside the bubble is like watching a storm on TV while you’re wrapped in a warm blanket. Ooh, that looks rough for y’all. Stay safe, though!
So, if I seem distant, or “hard to get next to,” just know it’s not personal. I’m not playing games. I’m just protecting my peace with everything I have. My energy is expensive, and I’m done giving out free samples.
If you relate to this, congratulations. You’ve reached the level of “Unbothered” that we should all aspire to. Stay in your bubble, sis. It’s nice in here.