Welcome back to another installment of Stories from Tina, where we tackle the everyday nonsense we all collectively agree to just accept. Today, we need to have a very serious, very honest conversation about one of the greatest modern lies of our generation.
Look at the image above. I saw this the other day, and I felt it in my soul. I will never accept the propaganda that someone is too busy to text back. Like, nahhh. We need to stop pretending that replying to a text requires clearing our schedules and consulting an oracle.
Here is a deep dive into why this excuse needs to be officially retired, and what’s actually happening behind the screen.
Why the “Too Busy” Excuse Doesn’t Add Up
The Smartphone Reality Check
Let’s be real for a second. We live in an era where our smartphones are basically phantom limbs. If my phone isn’t in my hand, it’s in my pocket. If it’s not in my pocket, it’s sitting face-up on the desk directly in my line of sight.
When someone hits me with the, “Omg I’m so sorry, I’ve just been insanely busy today!” I immediately do the math in my head.
- Fact 1: The average person checks their phone 144 times a day.
- Fact 2: It takes approximately 4.2 seconds to type “super swamped, talk later!”
- Fact 3: I saw you view my Instagram story three hours ago, Kevin.
The math simply isn’t mathing. Unless you are actively diffusing a bomb, performing emergency open-heart surgery, or currently participating in a high-speed car chase, you are not too busy to text back. You have the time.
The Bathroom Break Truth Teller
If we are being completely honest with ourselves, we all know the ultimate truth-teller: the bathroom break.
No matter how back-to-back your meetings are, no matter how chaotic the kids are acting, or how deep into a spreadsheet you are, eventually, biology calls. And what do 99.9% of us take into the bathroom with us? The phone.
Are we sitting there staring blankly at the tile grout? Absolutely not. We are scrolling TikTok, checking emails, and watching 14-minute video essays on obscure pop culture drama. If you have time to doomscroll while avoiding your responsibilities for five minutes, you have time to send a thumbs-up emoji.
What People Actually Mean When They Don’t Reply
Now, let’s put the jokes aside and get a little candid, because I want to be fair here. While the time excuse is a total scam, the underlying reason usually isn’t. When someone says they are “too busy,” what they are usually trying to communicate falls into one of these categories:
- “I am completely emotionally tapped out.” Sometimes the social battery is in the red. Sending a text requires a level of engagement that someone just doesn’t have the mental bandwidth for at that moment.
- “I opened the message, got distracted, and now it’s been three days and the shame is eating me alive.” We have all done this. The longer you wait, the heavier the guilt gets, until replying feels like moving a mountain.
- “This requires a long response, and I don’t have the energy right now.” A text asking, “What are we doing for dinner?” is easy. A text saying, “I need advice about my existential life crisis,” requires sitting down with a cup of tea and a focused mind.
- “You are just not my top priority today.” Ouch. This one stings, but it’s human nature.
My Own Confession: We’ve All Used the Excuse
I can’t sit here on my high horse without admitting my own guilt. Have I used the “too busy” excuse? Shamelessly.
Just last week, my friend texted me a voice note. I saw it. I listened to it while making coffee. I thought out an entire, brilliant response in my head. And then… I put my phone down to pour the milk. Fast forward 48 hours, and I’m texting back, “Omg sorry, things have been so crazy over here!”
Things were not crazy. I watched three episodes of The Bear and took a nap. But saying “I mentally replied to you and then forgot you existed in the physical realm” feels a bit harsh, doesn’t it?
How to Be Honest About Delayed Texts Instead
It is time to normalize honesty without the fear of offending each other. Instead of feeding into the “too busy” propaganda, what if we just started sending real updates?
- “Hey, I saw this! My brain is soup right now, but I’ll reply tomorrow.”
- “Currently hiding from my responsibilities, give me a few hours.”
- “I love you, but I simply cannot perceive text words at this moment.”
It removes the pressure, it tells the truth, and most importantly, it spares us all from pretending we don’t know exactly what our friends’ average screen time is.
So, the next time someone tells you they were too busy to text back, just smile, nod, and know that they probably spent 45 minutes looking at memes on the toilet instead. And honestly? Good for them.
Very nice.