Hey family, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab your favorite drink (mine’s currently a very large glass of “mind your business” on ice), and let’s have a real heart-to-heart.
Have you ever looked at someone and realized they are essentially a full-time employee of your brand, but they’re working for free? No benefits, no 401k, just pure, unadulterated dedication to talking about you. It’s actually kind of impressive when you think about the stamina required to stay that pressed for that long. Let’s talk about something that a LOT of people experience but don’t always have the words for.
We’ve all dealt with it—the “Sneak Diss Professional.” These are the people who have been throwing pebbles at your window for days, months, maybe even years. They post the cryptic song lyrics, the “if the shoe fits” quotes, and the indirect status updates that everyone and their mother knows are about you. You ever notice how they can do this quietly and strategically with that passive-aggressive energy—but the SECOND you finally say something back?
Oh, now you’re the villain.
Suddenly it’s, “Why are you coming for me?” Suddenly they’re hurt. Suddenly they’re confused. Suddenly they’re the victim. Be so serious. They are essentially performing a one-person play in a theater with no audience, just waiting for you to walk in so they can finally start the second act. They’re starving for a meal, and honey, you are the only thing on the menu.
But here is where the comedy really starts. You can ignore someone for three solid years. You can let a thousand insults slide like water off a duck’s back. But the second—and I mean the millisecond—you finally open your mouth to say “Enough,” they pull the ultimate disappearing act.
This is one of those life lessons I had to learn the hard way, because at first, I used to respond. I used to explain myself. I used to defend my name. I used to think, If I just say something, they’ll stop. Plot twist: they won’t. Suddenly, they aren’t the aggressor anymore. They are a fragile flower! They’re “shocked” and “hurt” that you would “attack” them out of nowhere. It’s the Gaslight Olympics, and they’re going for the gold. They spend 364 days poking the bear, and then they want to call animal control the moment the bear lets out a tiny little yawn.
Tip: If you give them a reaction, you’re giving them a paycheck. Don’t fund their nonsense.
Let’s be real: without your reaction, they just look… well, sad. Some folks are not speaking on you because they’re confused or hurt—they’re speaking on you because they’re obsessed. And silence is the only thing that exposes that. If someone is continuously speaking on your name and you aren’t saying a word back, they aren’t “winning” an argument. They’re just a person talking to a wall.
They need you to go back and forth with them because it validates their obsession. If you respond, it means they’ve finally managed to matter to you. If you respond, they get to feel like they’re on your level. They want that engagement and validation. They conveniently forget the 37 slick comments they made before you ever opened your mouth. But when you stay silent? They just look like a clown performing in an empty tent. Eventually, the makeup starts to run, the nose falls off, and everyone watching realizes they’ve been fighting a ghost this whole time.
I’ve learned the hard way that my peace of mind is way too expensive to be spending it on people who thrive on chaos. Your silence is power; your reaction is currency. Once I understood that, everything changed. I realized that not responding isn’t weakness—it’s discipline. It takes a LOT more strength to stay quiet when you know you could say something that would shut everything down. But silence starves attention-seekers in a way words never will.
The most powerful thing you can do is let these mfs clown themselves BY THEMSELVES. You don’t need to “set the record straight” when the record is already playing a song that everyone is tired of hearing. I don’t need to prove anything, correct every lie, or explain my side to people who already decided how they feel. The truth doesn’t need defending when it’s obvious.
And listen—this doesn’t mean you never speak up. It means you choose when and who deserves your energy. Everyone doesn’t get access to you. Everyone doesn’t get a response. Everyone doesn’t get closure. Some people only deserve distance.
So if someone has been watching you closely, studying your moves, and waiting for you to react—don’t give them the satisfaction. Let them keep talking into the void. Keep your head up, keep your skin glowing, and keep your mouth shut. There is nothing more frustrating to a hater than a target that refuses to be hit. Because the moment you stop responding is the moment they lose control.
And that, my friend, is the real win.
Stay blessed, stay unbothered.
Love, Tina 💯
Very nice.