Hey friends, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab a beverage (preferably something caffeinated or fermented, depending on your stress level), and let’s have a real heart-to-heart.
I recently saw a quote that hit me harder than a Monday morning alarm after a long weekend. It said: “I’m a FIRM believer that dealing with the wrong people will cause delays in your life.” Can we just sit with that for a second? Delays. Not just headaches. Not just a bad night. Actual, literal pauses on your destiny. It’s one of those quotes that doesn’t politely knock—it kicks the door open, sits on your couch, and says, “We need to talk.” If you’ve ever felt like your life was suddenly “lagging” like a bad internet connection, this is for you.
You know those seasons where you’re finally catching your rhythm? You’re hitting the gym, your skin is glowing, you’re hitting deadlines, and you haven’t cried in a grocery store parking lot for at least three weeks. You are, as the kids say, “doing good asf.”
You feel invincible, like you’ve finally evolved past your “hot mess” era. And that, my friends, is exactly when the Universe Test happens.
Out of nowhere—usually at 11:15 PM on a Tuesday—your phone buzzes. It’s that person. The “Negative Spirit” who carries a cloud around like it’s a designer accessory. They reach out with a “Hey, been thinking about you,” and suddenly, your ego starts doing backflips. You think, “I’m strong enough now. Maybe I can be the light in their darkness?” Spoiler alert from Tina: You aren’t a lighthouse, and they aren’t looking for a shore; they’re looking for someone to drown with. You think you’re being kind, but you’re actually reintroducing a virus you already quarantined.
I’ve lived this. I remember finally getting my business ideas off the ground. I was focused and disciplined, and then I decided to “rekindle” with an old friend who was basically a human black hole. Within two weeks:
• My focus evaporated because I was busy “helping” them through self-inflicted drama.
• My bank account took a hit (negative spirits always “forget” their wallets).
• My peace was replaced by that weird, tight feeling in my chest.
It’s like being a high-performance sports car and deciding to hitch a rusty, flat-tired trailer to your bumper for “old time’s sake.” Of course you’re going to slow down! You’re literally dragging the past into your future.
We go back because of nostalgia, which is the brain’s version of Photoshop. It blurs out the red flags and highlights the three times they actually made us laugh. But here’s the hard truth: Some people aren’t meant to be apart of your journey; they were just a chapter you’ve already finished reading. When you keep re-reading the same chapter, you never find out how the book ends.
Pro-Tip: If you have to “prepare” yourself mentally just to answer a text from someone, that’s not a friendship. That’s a chore. And you already have enough laundry to do.
Negativity isn’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s subtle:
• Passive-aggressive jabs disguised as “jokes.”
• Constant complaining that leaves you feeling heavy.
• People who only reach out when they are bored or lonely.
You don’t realize how much it’s affecting you until you step away again and suddenly feel like you can breathe. That “delay” wasn’t life punishing you; it was alignment rejecting what no longer fits.
I used to feel guilty about cutting people off. I thought being a “good person” meant being an unlimited buffet for people who only brought an appetite. But your energy is your currency. If you spend it on people who leave you bankrupt, you have nothing left for your goals, your family, or your sanity.
The “wrong people” are roadblocks. You can either spend your life trying to move the rock, or you can take the detour and keep driving toward your destination.
Stop giving seasonal people “lifetime” access. If they were meant to be in the “thriving” version of your life, they wouldn’t have been part of the reason you were struggling in the first place.
Put the phone down. Delete the number. Block them if your willpower is shaky today. Your future is waiting, and it’s a lot further down the road than that person can take you. You’re not obligated to go back, and you’re definitely not meant to carry people who refuse to walk.
What about you? Have you ever let a “negative spirit” back in only to realize they were holding the remote to your life’s pause button? Let’s vent in the comments!
Until next time,
— Tina
Clap, clap Tina, thank you. “Stop giving seasonal people lifetime access.” That’s a mic-dropping statement. It can take a person years to figure out which old classmates, co-workers, neighbors, are just passing thru your life “at this moment” and which are going to grow with you. Not everyone has goals that align with yours and you end up leaving people in your dust. It’s on them to shake off that dust and use it as energy to move forward, not you. Wishing you all the best! Peace & blessings