Hey guys, it’s Tina.
Pull up a chair, grab a coffee (or a glass of wine, I don’t judge), and let’s talk about something that’s been living rent-free in my head lately. I saw this quote today that hit me like a ton of bricks: “Mfs be studying you in silence and will never credit the influence… keep pushing 💯”
First of all, can we talk about the accuracy? I felt that in my bones.
It’s a weird phenomenon, isn’t it? You’re just out here living your life, trying to figure out how to keep your houseplants alive and your inbox under triple digits, and meanwhile, there’s an entire audience of “Silent Researchers” watching your every move. No compliments. No credit. No acknowledgment. Just quiet observation.
I’m not talking about the people who like your posts or leave a “Yass girl!” in the comments. I’m talking about the ones who watch your stories within 30 seconds of you posting, yet haven’t liked a photo since 2019.
They are the academic scholars of your aesthetic. They study your career moves, your outfit choices, the way you phrase your captions, and even the specific brand of oat milk you use. Then—and this is the best part—you see them three weeks later doing the exact same thing, acting like they just had a divine revelation from the universe.
Did they mention they saw it on your page? Did they send a quick “Hey, thanks for the inspo”? Nope. Absolute silence. Crickets. 🎤🦗
At first, that’ll mess with your head. You’ll wonder: Am I doing enough? Does this even matter? Is anybody paying attention? You’ll see people moving funny, switching up, adopting your energy, your words, and your mindset—and still acting like you had nothing to do with it.
It’s like being a ghostwriter for someone else’s personality. You’re the blueprint, the mood board, and the R&D department all rolled into one, but you’re getting paid in… well, nothing. I’ve spent way too much time thinking about why people do this, and I’ve come up with a few Tina-certified theories:
• The Ego Barrier: Admitting you like someone else’s idea feels like admitting they’re doing something better than you. (Spoiler: It’s not! We can all be cool!)
• The “Organic” Illusion: They want everyone to think they’re just naturally this curated and inspired. Admitting they saw it on your story ruins the “I woke up like this” vibe.
• The Humble Factor: Some folks don’t give credit because it forces them to be humble. They aren’t ready to admit they were influenced by someone else’s light.
I used to think influence was loud. Likes, comments, praise, validation. I thought if people weren’t openly supporting, they weren’t paying attention. Baby, I was wrong. The quiet ones are watching the hardest. They see how you move when nobody’s cheering. They see how you show up consistently, even when it feels pointless. And instead of saying, “That motivated me,” they’ll just apply it to their own life like it was their idea all along.
I won’t lie—I wanted credit. Validation feels good! It lets you know you’re not shouting into the void. But growth taught me something else: You don’t need credit to be impactful. > If your words changed how someone thinks, or your consistency made someone push harder, you already won. Whether they admit it or not.
At first, I’d see someone copy a project and I’d want to scream into a pillow. But then I realized: You can’t copy the source code. They can copy the “what,” but they can’t copy the “why.” They can study your “how,” but they can’t replicate your “who.”
If people are studying you in silence, it’s because you’re the textbook, babe. You’re the one setting the pace. Silence doesn’t mean absence or failure; it often means impact is happening behind the scenes.
If you feel like you’re being watched but never cheered for, here is your reminder to keep pushing. * Keep being “too much.”
• Keep sharing your weird ideas. * Keep wearing the shoes they’ll all be wearing in six months. * Keep being the influence, even if your “referral link” never gets clicked.
The fact that they’re studying you is the highest form of a backhanded compliment. Take it, bank it, and keep moving. You don’t need a shoutout to know you’re the one holding the pen. Let them keep their little notebooks open while you stay busy living the life they’re so obsessed with documenting.
The people meant to see you will see you. And the ones studying you now? They’ll eventually reveal themselves—usually by doing exactly what you did months ago.
Stay inspired (and keep inspiring the lurkers),
Tina 💖
There is no equality between sexes in a patriarchal world; a “game” where men hold a mulligan for any thing that might get pinned on him.
Men have tigged the game that they have all the rules biased in their favour and the right to change the rules at their convenience.
If there as a third gender than women could easily manipulate the game by creating jealousy and a sense that the male gender is being sidelined and missing out.