Why is the Bar for Men Literally on the Floor?

Hey everyone, it’s Tina. Grab a coffee, or a glass of wine, or a green juice—whatever you need to emotionally prepare for today’s rant. Because I was scrolling through my notes the other day and stumbled upon a thought that has been living rent-free in my head for weeks.

I was thinking about the word “easy.” We’ve all heard it. It’s that dusty, tired label men love to toss around the second a woman shows agency, interest, or—heaven forbid—decides she actually enjoys herself. It’s used as this weird social weapon to categorize us. But as I was sitting there, thinking about all the “dating experts” in my DMs and the guys I’ve met out in the wild, a realization hit me like a ton of bricks:

Men are so quick to call a girl “easy,” but I have yet to meet a man who was actually “hard to get.”

Let that sink in for a second. Because the math is just not mathing.

Let’s be real for a second. We are told from birth that men are the “hunters” and they love the “thrill of the chase.” We’re told to play hard to get, to wait three days to text back, and to act like we have the social calendar of a head of state just to keep them interested.

But have you ever actually tried to find a man who is hard to get? I’ll wait.

In my experience, you don’t even have to “get” them. You just have to exist in their general vicinity and occasionally make eye contact. If I send a “U up?” text to 90% of my contact list at 11:00 PM, I’m pretty sure my phone would vibrate off the nightstand within thirty seconds. Somehow women carry the label, the shame, the side-eye, the whispers… while men are out here giving access like free samples at Costco. No appointment. No vetting. No background check. Just vibes and availability.

And then they have the nerve to judge the woman who accepted the invitation? Be serious.

It’s funny (and by funny, I mean mildly infuriating) how the bar is set at two completely different altitudes.

• For Women: If we text back too fast, we’re “desperate.” If we go home with someone on the first date, we’re “easy.” We have to navigate this invisible obstacle course just to maintain “value.”

• For Men: The “gate” is wide open. The door isn’t even locked. In fact, the door is off the hinges and there’s a welcome mat.

I’ve watched men chase women relentlessly, apply pressure like they’re running a full-blown marketing campaign, and the moment the woman gives in—she’s “easy.” Not him. Never him. He was just “being a man.” Whatever that means. Let me tell you something: if it was that easy to get, then maybe—just maybe—it wasn’t because she was easy. Maybe it’s because you were persistent. Or charming. Or available. Or because she liked you. Crazy concept, I know.

What kills me is the double standard wrapped in hypocrisy and sprinkled with audacity. Men want access. They pursue access. They benefit from access. And then they turn around and shame the very people who granted it. That’s wild.

Most men will tell you exactly what they want within the first three conversations. Sometimes the first three minutes. There’s no mystery. No slow burn. No emotional chess. Just straight to the point. Yet women are expected to be pure, reserved, and untouched—while also being affectionate, sexual, and emotionally open. Pick a struggle.

Where is this mysterious, elusive, “hard to get” man? Where is the guy who says, “Actually, Tina, I’m focusing on my spiritual alignment right now and I don’t think we should grab drinks because I need to protect my mystery”? He doesn’t exist! If you offer most men a compliment and a lukewarm beer, they are yours for the foreseeable future.

At the end of the day, calling a woman “easy” is often just a way to avoid accountability. It’s easier to shame than to reflect. Easier to judge than to admit you participated willingly. Because if she’s easy, then you don’t have to ask yourself why you were so quick to engage.

I’ve met women who were cautious, intentional, selective—and still got called easy. Because for some people, the label was already loaded and waiting. So I don’t take that word seriously anymore. If a woman chooses someone, that doesn’t make her easy. It makes her human. It makes her grown. It makes her someone who made a decision—just like the man did.

Until men start being labeled just as harshly for the same behavior, that word will remain what it truly is: projection.

So yeah… men are quick to call a girl easy. But in all my years on this planet, I’ve never met a man that was hard to get with.

Do you think the “hard to get” game is actually dead, or are we just playing it with the wrong people? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!