Who Just Wants Extra Fries and Attention

Hey, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab a snack, and let’s get real for a second.

I saw a quote the other day that stopped me mid-scroll—and no, it wasn’t one of those “live, laugh, love” manifestos that makes you want to roll your eyes into the back of your skull. It was simpler. It said: “I prefer a lil favoritism… I wanna be treated better than everyone that’s in your life.”

And honestly? I felt that in my soul.

Now, before you call me a narcissist or tell me I need to go to therapy (I know, I’m working on it), let’s break down what this actually means in “Tina-speak.” I’m not saying I want everyone else to be treated badly. I just want that extra 10% of effort that says, “You’re the VIP of my existence.”

We all pretend we’re totally chill, low-maintenance humans. We say things like, “Oh, I don’t care where we eat,” or “No need to get me a gift!” Lies. All of it. Deep down, if I’m your person—whether that’s your best friend, your partner, or your favorite cousin—I don’t want the “Standard Subscription” of your affection. I want the Premium Gold Member Plus package.

• The Texting Tier: If you take four hours to reply to the group chat? Fine. But if I send you a meme of a raccoon eating grapes, I expect a response in three minutes or less. That’s just science.

• The Food Factor: If we’re sharing a plate of nachos, favoritism is you giving me the one chip that has 80% of the cheese on it. That is the highest form of love.

• The “Inside Joke” Monopoly: I want us to have a look—you know the look—where we can communicate an entire paragraph of gossip across a crowded room without saying a single word.

Society spends a lot of time telling us to be fair and treat everyone equally. And sure, that’s great for HR departments and kindergarten teachers. But in real life? Being treated “equally” feels like being a placeholder.

If I’m the same as everyone else in your life, then what am I even doing here? I want to be the person you call when you have a secret that’s too juicy for the general public. I want to be the one who gets the “I saw this and thought of you” texts at 11:00 PM.

It’s about being prioritized. There is a specific kind of dopamine hit that comes from knowing you’re someone’s favorite. It’s like finding a $20 bill in your pocket, but the $20 bill is actually just your boyfriend remembering exactly how you like your coffee without you having to remind him for the 400th time.

I know how it sounds. It sounds like I’m demanding a throne and a scepter. And maybe I am! (Just a small throne. Maybe a beanbag chair.)

But isn’t that what we’re all looking for? We spend so much of our lives being “just another person” to the rest of the world. To the barista, I’m “Medium Oat Latte.” To the DMV, I’m a number. To the guy who cut me off in traffic, I’m a target of his misplaced rage.

So when I get home, or when I hang out with my inner circle, I don’t want to be “Medium Oat Latte.” I want to be Tina: The Preferred Human.

to my inner circle: If you’re reading this, this is your formal notice. If you treat me the same as your mailman, we’re gonna have words. (Just kidding. Mostly.)

At the end of the day, wanting a “lil favoritism” is just a fancy way of saying we want to feel seen. We want to know that in a world of billions of people, there’s a small handful of humans who think we are just a little bit more special, a little bit funnier, and a little bit more worth the effort than everyone else.

Is it a bit “main character” of me? Absolutely. But honestly, if I’m not the main character in my own life, then who is? The girl at the grocery store who scanned my avocados? I don’t think so.

So, here’s to the favorites. May we find them, and may we be them. And may we always get the chip with the most cheese.