Why I’m Officially Closing the Gates to Drama

Hey everyone, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab a beverage (hopefully something stronger than lukewarm chamomile), and let’s have a real-talk session.

I recently found a quote that stopped me mid-scroll. It basically said: “I’m not available for nothing messy, draining, negative, or weird.” Aside from the slight double negative that would make my high school English teacher twitch, I felt it in my soul. It was like someone took my internal “Do Not Disturb” sign and made it a manifesto.

We’ve all been there, right? You wake up, you’ve got your coffee, you’ve managed to put on matching socks—it’s going to be a good day. Then, the phone pings. It’s that one person. You know the one. The person whose life is a constant, 24-season soap opera where they are the lead, the producer, and the victim. Suddenly, your “good day” is being hijacked by a three-hour debrief on why their neighbor looked at them “suspiciously” while taking out the trash.

I used to think being a good friend meant being a full-time crisis manager. I thought if I didn’t have a front-row seat to the chaos, I wasn’t being “supportive.” But here’s the thing I’ve realized: Messy isn’t a personality trait; it’s a choice. I’m talking about the people who create fires just so they can complain about the smoke. I’m officially hanging up my firefighter suit. If your life is a constant whirlwind of “you won’t believe what happened now,” I believe you… I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to help you find your keys in the wreckage anymore.

And let’s talk about “draining.” We all have that one friend who is essentially a human Dementor. You leave a lunch date with them feeling like you’ve just run a marathon through a swamp. Why do we do that to ourselves?

I’ve started doing an Energy Audit. If I spend an hour with you and I need a three-hour nap afterward to recover from your negativity, we’ve got a problem. My energy isn’t a renewable resource that grows on trees; it’s a finite battery. I need it for important things—like my job, my family, and deciding which Netflix show to half-watch while I scroll on my phone.

Now, “weird” is a tricky one. I like weird! I am a little weird. But there’s “fun weird” (collecting vintage spoons) and then there’s “unsettling weird” (the kind where you’re constantly questioning their motives).

If the vibes are off, I’m out. If I have to spend twenty minutes after our conversation deconstructing what you “actually” meant by a backhanded compliment, that’s a “weird” I no longer have space for. Life is too short for riddles and mind games. If you have something to say, say it with your chest or don’t say it at all.

So, consider this my official “Terms of Service” update.

• Positive Vibes Only? Not necessarily. We can be sad, we can be angry, we can be real. But we can’t be toxic.

• Availability: My heart is open, but my gate is locked. You need a key to get in, and that key is called Respect for My Peace.

I’m choosing a life that feels like a warm blanket, not a jagged rock. If that makes me “unavailable,” then I guess I’m booked solid for the foreseeable future. I’ll be over here, sipping my drink, enjoying the silence, and keeping the “messy” at a very safe, very far distance.

Who else is joining the “Not Available” club with me?