Welcome back to Stories from Tina. Grab a coffee, tea, or whatever beverage gets you through the day, because we need to have a little chat about the current vibe.
If you’ve been paying attention to my energy lately, you might have noticed a shift. Let me just put it out there: I’m in a real heavy detachment phase right now, so watch how you treat me. I know “detachment” sounds like I’ve packed up my worldly belongings and moved to a silent retreat in the mountains. Honestly, some days that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. But in reality, it just means I have officially submitted my two weeks’ notice to the role of Chief People Pleaser. I’ve boxed up my desk, handed in my badge, and I am not looking back.
For the longest time, I was the honorary president of the “Keep the Peace” club. You know the drill: biting your tongue when someone makes a backhanded compliment, saying “yes” to favors when you’re already running on empty, and twisting yourself into a pretzel just to make sure everyone else in the room is comfortable.
I was carrying around everybody else’s emotional baggage like I was getting paid for it. Spoiler alert: the pay is terrible, and the benefits are non-existent.
I finally woke up one day and realized that keeping the peace for everyone else meant going to war with myself. And frankly? I’m exhausted. My peace is entirely too expensive to be handed out as a party favor to people who don’t appreciate it.
So, what does this heavy detachment phase actually look like? It’s pretty simple, really. I am serious about my boundaries. And when I say serious, I mean concrete-wall, do-not-cross, electric-fence serious.
Here is the updated terms and conditions for being in my orbit:
• No Exceptions for DNA or History: This applies to family, friends, and relationships. Just because we share a bloodline or have known each other since middle school doesn’t give you a VIP pass to disrespect me.
• Zero Tolerance for Disrespect: I’m no longer playing the game of “Oh, they didn’t mean it that way.” If it sounds disrespectful and feels disrespectful, I’m calling it what it is. I will not tolerate being treated poorly just to avoid an awkward silence. Let it be awkward.
• The Internal Vibe Check is Final: We all have that internal alarm system that goes off when something isn’t right. I used to hit snooze on mine constantly. Not anymore. If the energy feels off, my feet are already moving toward the exit.
That brings me to my favorite part of this new era. The exit strategy.
In the past, if a situation felt toxic or draining, I would stick around and try to fix it. I’d over-explain, over-analyze, and try to negotiate with people committed to misunderstanding me.
Now? If the energy is weird, off-putting, or straight-up disrespectful, I am not arguing. I am not writing a five-paragraph essay explaining why my feelings are hurt. I am simply pivoting on my heel and walking smooth off.
There is a profound sense of power in realizing you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. You can just leave people to sit in their own weird energy while you go mind your business and water your plants.
If any of this resonates with you, consider this your official invitation to join the detachment phase. It is beautiful over here. The air is clearer, your schedule opens up magically, and your skin might even start glowing.
Stop setting yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm. Set your boundaries, protect your energy, and remember: if it doesn’t serve you, you have two good feet to walk smooth off.
Until next time,
Tina