Okay, guys. Let’s talk.
I saw this quote today, and I swear, I have never felt something so deep in my spirit. You know those moments where you read something and you’re like, “Did I write this in my sleep? Did someone look inside my brain, take notes, and turn it into an Instagram post?”
Because this right here? This is the current mood. This is the vibe for 33. This is the chapter of my life I’m currently living in.
“I don’t like dealing with people who make me feel like I’m losing my mind trying to get them to understand how I feel.”
Can we just sit with that for a second? Because whew.
I feel like half my life right now is spent trying to translate my feelings into a language that other people understand, and somehow, I still end up looking like the crazy one. I’m a Leo. We are expressive people! We wear our hearts on our sleeves! I am not exactly a closed book. If I’m upset, you usually know it. If I’m happy, you definitely know it.
So why is it that communicating basic feelings to some people feels like I’m trying to explain quantum physics to a toddler?
It goes something like this:
Me: “Hey, when you did X, it made me feel really disregarded and hurt.”
Them: “Wow, so I guess I’m just the worst person in the world then? I can’t believe you’re attacking me like this.”
Me: “Wait… what? No. I’m just saying my feelings were hurt.”
Them: “Well, you shouldn’t feel that way because that wasn’t my intention, so technically, you’re wrong.”
And suddenly, I’m the one apologizing? Or worse, I’m sitting there questioning my own reality. Am I crazy? Did I say it wrong? Is it me?
It’s usually not me.
The quote continues: “I don’t like having to keep shit bottled up inside.”
This is the kicker. I spend all day working as a nurse, taking care of other people, anticipating their needs, reading their body language, and holding space for their pain. Then I come home to my own life—as a wife, a mom, a friend—and I am tired. My emotional bandwidth is already running on low battery mode.
So when I actually take the time to express a vulnerability or a frustration, and it gets met with defensiveness or indifference? It makes me want to just shut down. It makes me want to bottle it up because the energy it takes to fight to be heard is just… too expensive. I can’t afford it. My “destruction budget” is literally $0.00 right now.
But bottling it up is poison. We all know that. We swallow the frustration, we push down the hurt, and then one day, someone forgets to put a coaster on the coffee table and we explode like a volcano because it’s not about the coaster, it’s about the three months of feeling invisible.
And finally: “I can’t deal w anyone who makes me feel like that.”
That’s the resolution, isn’t it? That’s the boundary.
I think part of getting older—I’m 33 now, and I feel every bit of it some days—is realizing that you don’t have to participate in every argument you’re invited to. You don’t have to explain your humanity to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.
If I have to draw a diagram, perform an interpretive dance, and write a 10-page essay just to get you to acknowledge that my feelings are valid? Then maybe the problem isn’t my explanation. Maybe the problem is that you aren’t listening.
So, for anyone else out there feeling like they’re losing their mind trying to be heard: You are not crazy. Your feelings matter. And you deserve people in your corner—whether it’s your partner, your friends, or your family—who listen to understand, not just to reply.
I’m going to go grab a Philz coffee, hug my kids, and enjoy the peace of not explaining myself for at least the next hour.
Does this resonate with you guys? How do you handle it when you feel like you’re talking to a brick wall? Let me know in the comments!