Hey everyone, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab a snack, and let’s have a real “heart-to-heart”—or a “brain-to-brain,” depending on how much coffee you’ve had today.
I’ve been sitting with a thought lately, and the more I replay it in my head, the less sense it makes. I saw something today that hit me like a ton of bricks, and I just had to get my thoughts down because, naturally, here I am writing about it. It’s about that bizarre, upside-down way people handle their relationships. You know the vibe. It’s that specific brand of “weird” where people treat the ones who actually care about them like they’re an annoying software update, but they treat the “wishy-washy” people like they’re royalty.
Let’s dive into this madness.
We all have those people in our lives—the “Day Ones.” These are the folks who actually f*ck with you. They love you when you’re a mess, they text you back within five minutes, and they’d probably help you move a couch on a Sunday morning without complaining. They are the ones who check on you, defend you when you’re not around, and genuinely want to see you win.
And yet, for some reason, we (and I say “we” as a collective human mess) tend to move so weird towards them. We take them for granted. We’re short with them on the phone. We “forget” to invite them to things because “oh, they won’t mind, they’re family.” Somehow, those people end up catching the most attitude, the most distance, and the most mixed signals. It’s like we use their loyalty as a reason to treat them like an afterthought. If someone is genuinely in your corner, why is that the person getting your “I’m too tired to be nice” energy?
On the flip side, we have the “Funny Acting” crew. You know exactly who I’m talking about.
• The ones who only text when they need a favor.
• The ones who are “busy” for three months but suddenly want to be besties when you have floor seats to a concert.
• The ones whose vibe changes depending on who else is in the room.
And what do we do? We roll out the red carpet! We give these inconsistent, half-present people all the respect and love. We stress over why they haven’t liked our photo and go out of our way to make sure they feel comfortable. It’s like we’re auditioning for the approval of people who don’t even like us that much. Why are we like this?! It’s like chasing a cat that hates you while ignoring the golden retriever that’s literally vibrating with joy just to see you.
I think it’s because we’re suckers for a challenge. We feel like we have to “earn” the love of the flaky people, so we value it more when we finally get a crumb of it. Meanwhile, the people who love us freely? We think their love is “cheap” because it’s always there.
But I’m genuinely confused. Because if someone shows me love, loyalty, and good intentions, my instinct isn’t to push them away—it’s to protect that connection like it’s rare… because it is. I’ve noticed that for some people, consistency feels suspicious. Stability feels boring. A lot of us are walking around with unhealed wounds, used to chaos and emotional rollercoasters. When someone solid comes along, there’s no adrenaline rush, no “are they going to call?” drama. And apparently… some people thrive on that nonsense.
So they pour energy into people who don’t show up, while treating the real ones like they’ll always be there. Newsflash: they won’t. Not forever.
There’s only so many times someone can feel overlooked or underappreciated before they quietly start pulling back. Not with a big announcement, just with a shift. A boundary. A little less access. And when that happens, the “funny acting” crowd is always shocked.
“You changed.”
No. I adapted.
I didn’t stop loving—I stopped begging for basic respect. Some people don’t know how to treat good people until they lose them. They confuse availability with weakness and loyalty with permanence. That’s dangerous thinking.
Can we make a pact? Let’s start giving that “VIP Energy” to the people who actually deserve it.
• Stop “moving weird” towards the ones who love you.
• Stop over-performing for the wishy-washy ones.
• If someone acts funny, let them go join the circus. You’ve got better things to do.
At this stage in my life, I’m learning to match effort—not out of pettiness, but out of self-respect. The way someone treats you is information, not an invitation to try harder. Real love doesn’t leave you confused.
If you’re a real one reading this—someone who loves deeply and means what they say—don’t let anyone convince you that your heart is the problem. The right people will recognize your value without needing reminders. And the ones who don’t? They’ll figure it out eventually.
Just probably a little too late.
What do you think? Have you ever caught yourself doing this? Or have you been the “Day One” who got treated like a “Maybe”? Let’s vent in the comments.
— Tina 💫