Hey everyone, it’s Tina. Grab a snack, get comfortable, and please—someone take my brain’s “reflect” button and smash it with a hammer.
You know those moments? You’re having a perfectly fine Tuesday. You’ve got your coffee, the lighting is decent, you haven’t tripped over air in at least four hours… and then it happens. You sit back. You start thinking. And suddenly, you realize just how much life has been out here playing games with you. Honestly, I feel so f*cked over when I actually take a second to look at the big picture. “For real” doesn’t even cover it. It’s like looking at the receipt of your life and realizing you were overcharged for everything and didn’t even get the free breadsticks.
There are moments—usually late at night, when the world is quiet and my thoughts suddenly decide to get loud—where I sit back and really think about life. Not the cute, Instagram-caption version of life. I mean the real stuff. The stuff you don’t always talk about. The stuff you’ve pushed down just so you could keep functioning. And in those moments, I’ll be honest… I be feeling so f*cked over when I really sit back and think about sh*t. For real.
Have you ever had a memory from three years ago just pop up like an uninvited guest at a party? My brain loves to do this. It’ll be 11:30 PM, I’m ready for sleep, and my mind goes: “Hey Tina, remember that time you went above and beyond for that one person who ended up ghosting you? Or that time you worked 60 hours a week for a ‘thank you’ card that was actually just a post-it note?”
When I sit back and think about the energy I’ve spent on situations that gave me absolutely nothing back, I feel like I’ve been scammed by the universe. I’m out here playing 4D chess with my heart and my time, and the world is playing checkers with a missing piece. Because when you’re in survival mode, you don’t always process what’s happening to you. You’re just moving. Handling things. Showing up. Smiling when you’re supposed to. You don’t have time to sit with the weight of it all because if you did, you might fall apart—and who has time for that?
But then one day… it hits you. You start replaying moments. Conversations. Situations that didn’t sit right but you brushed off anyway. Times you gave people grace they didn’t deserve. Times you stayed quiet just to keep the peace. Times you questioned yourself instead of questioning the people who were actually wrong. And suddenly you’re like, “Wait a minute… nah. That was actually messed up.”
The problem is that we’re all too busy to realize we’re being played while it’s happening. We’re in the “grind.” We’re “manifesting.” We’re “staying positive.” But the second you stop moving—the second you sit on that couch and just stare at the wall—the math starts mathing. And the math is usually: Me (100%) + The Situation (0%) = Tina feeling like a clown.
• The Friendships: You realize you were the only one initiating the “How are you?” texts for six months.
• The Jobs: You realize you did the work of three people and your reward was… more work.
• The “Growth”: You realize that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is actually just code for “what doesn’t kill you gives you a really expensive therapy bill and a cynical sense of humor.”
That realization can feel heavy. Almost disrespectful to your nervous system. Because now you’re not just dealing with what happened—you’re dealing with the fact that you survived it without acknowledgment, without apology, and sometimes without support.
I have to laugh, though. Because if I don’t laugh, I’m going to start sending “Invoices for Wasted Time” to everyone I’ve ever known. Can you imagine? “Dear 2022, please find attached a bill for 400 hours of emotional labor and one very expensive pair of shoes I bought to impress people I don’t even like anymore. Payment is due in ‘good vibes’ and a winning lottery ticket.” Behind the humor, there’s real emotion. Real exhaustion. Real “how did I make it through that?” moments. Sometimes I’ll catch myself thinking, Why did I have to be the strong one? Why was I the one who had to understand, forgive, adjust, and keep it moving? Why did I have to be so resilient when all I wanted was to be held, supported, or just left alone to breathe?
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been the person who realized too late that the “great opportunity” was just a dumpster fire with better marketing. But honestly? There’s something kind of bonding about it. We’re all sitting back, thinking about the same sh*t, and realizing we’ve been played.
If you’re sitting back right now feeling like the world owes you an apology and a vacation, just know I’m right there with you. We might have been f*cked over by the circumstances, the people, or just the general audacity of life, but at least we’re smart enough to realize it now. Life doesn’t always explain itself. Closure doesn’t always come neatly wrapped with a bow. Sometimes you just have to accept that some chapters ended messy, unfair, and unresolved—and still find a way to move forward without letting it harden you.
That’s the part nobody really talks about. It’s not just the pain that hurts—it’s the delayed realization of it. But once you see it, you can’t unsee it. You start moving differently. Protecting yourself more. Saying no without guilt. You stop overextending. You stop romanticizing struggle.
Feeling f*cked over doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human. It means you’re finally allowing yourself to acknowledge the impact of things instead of pretending they didn’t affect you. Healing isn’t pretending everything was fine—it’s admitting it wasn’t and choosing yourself anyway. Next time I “sit back and think,” I’m going to try to do it with a glass of wine and a much shorter memory.
Reflect. Feel it. Learn from it. Then gently remind yourself that you’re still here. Still standing. Still evolving. Still worthy of peace. And honestly? That deserves credit.
— Tina 💫
Do you ever have those “Wait… I really got the short end of the stick there” moments? Tell me your most “I can’t believe I did that” story so we can feel f*cked over together!