Hey there, beautiful people. It’s Tina.
Take a second and look at the quote I just posted. Read it twice. Let it marinate.
“It’s a privilege to know yourself because people will always try to tell you who you are & they be dead wrong.”
If that didn’t hit you right in the solar plexus, are you even human? Or have you just reached a level of Zen that I, personally, haven’t touched since that one time I accidentally fell asleep in a restorative yoga class and woke myself up with my own snoring?
The Battlefield of “Knowing Yourself”
Let’s talk about this “privilege” of self-knowledge. Because, let’s be real, most days “knowing myself” just means knowing exactly which brand of oat milk won’t make me feel like a balloon animal by 2:00 PM. But on a deeper level? It’s a battlefield out here.
Have you ever noticed that everyone else seems to have a script for your life that you never auditioned for?
I’ve had people look me dead in the eye and tell me, “Tina, you’re just too sensitive,” or “You’re so lucky, you’re always so calm!” Meanwhile, inside my head, it’s basically a scene from Mad Max combined with a 90s Spice Girls music video.
Breaking Out of the Boxes People Build for You
People love to put us in boxes. It makes them feel comfortable. If they can label you as “the quiet one,” “the career-driven one,” or “the one who’s bad with money,” they don’t have to do the hard work of actually seeing you as a complex, evolving human being.
But here’s the kicker: They be dead wrong.
My Personal Reality Check: The “Management” Trap
I remember back in the day, I had a boss who told me I didn’t have “the personality for leadership.” He said I was too “collaborative” (which apparently was code for “pushover” in his 1985 management handbook). For a hot minute, I believed him. I started second-guessing every decision. I tried to act “tougher,” which basically just meant I stopped smiling and started wearing blazers with shoulder pads that made me look like a confused linebacker.
I was miserable. Why? Because I let someone else’s narrow lens become my mirror.
Turning Your “Weakness” Into a Superpower
Then I realized: My “collaboration” wasn’t a weakness; it was my superpower. I knew how to get people to actually want to work, rather than just fearing the consequences of not working. When I finally leaned into who I actually was—instead of who he told me I should be—everything shifted.
The moral? People are viewing you through the smudge on their glasses. Don’t go changing your face because their vision is blurry.
What It Means to Earn the Privilege of Self-Knowledge
The quote uses the word “privilege,” and I think that’s so intentional. It’s a privilege because it’s earned. It’s not something you’re born with; it’s something you fight for through years of trial, error, and some truly questionable haircuts.
Knowing yourself means:
- You stop asking for permission to exist. You don’t need a consensus to make a choice.
- You develop a “B.S. Filter.” When someone says something about you that doesn’t align with your soul, it just slides off like water on a raincoat.
- The humor in the hustle. You can laugh at yourself because you know the difference between a “bad day Tina” and “the real Tina.”
How to Protect Your Peace and Your Truth
So, how do we keep these “dead wrong” opinions from taking up rent-free space in our heads?
- Audit your circle: If someone constantly tells you who you are in a way that feels like they’re shrinking you, maybe they don’t deserve a front-row seat to your life.
- Talk back (even if it’s just to yourself): When someone says, “Oh, you’re not the type to do abc,” say, “Actually, I’m exactly the type. Watch me.”
- Embrace the “I don’t know” phase: Sometimes we don’t know who we are yet, and that’s okay! It’s better to be a blank canvas than a counterfeit version of someone else’s art.
Grounded in Your Own Truth
At the end of the day, I’m just Tina. I’m a work in progress. I’m a mix of high-waisted jeans, way too much coffee, and a stubborn refusal to be anyone other than myself.
People are going to talk. They’re going to judge. They’re going to assume. Let them. Your job isn’t to correct their perception; your job is to be so grounded in your own truth that their “dead wrong” opinions are just background noise.
Stay true to you, even if “you” changes by next Tuesday.
you are definitely a leader.