Hey y’all, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab your beverage of choice (mine is currently a coffee that is 40% cream and 60% prayers), and let’s have a real “sister-to-sister” moment.
I saw this quote the other day that hit me like a stray shopping cart in a grocery store parking lot. It said: “Y’all be thinking it’s always materials or money but baby ppl do be jealous of strong ppl, ppl that overcome everything sent to destroy them…” I had to sit my mug down. Because honestly? We spend so much time worrying if people think we’re “showing off” our new shoes or that promotion, when the truth is way more intense. People aren’t always looking at your bank account; they’re looking at your spirit. And for some people, seeing a spirit they can’t break is way more offensive than seeing a car they can’t afford.
1. The “How Are You Still Standing?” Factor
We’ve all had those years. You know the ones. The years where life decides to throw the whole kitchen sink at you, plus the plumbing and the backsplash. Maybe it was a breakup that left you questioning your own name, a job loss, or just a season where “bad luck” seemed to be your middle name.
When you come out on the other side of that—not just surviving, but actually smiling—it confuses people. I’ve had folks look at me almost disappointed that I wasn’t still crying in a dark room. They expect you to be dusty from the debris of your life, and when you show up polished and peaceful? That’s when the “side-eye” starts. They aren’t jealous of your life; they’re jealous of your resilience.
2. The Authenticity “Audacity”
Can we talk about the nerve of being yourself? In a world that constantly tells us to “filter this,” “tweak that,” and “act like them,” being authentically you is a revolutionary act.
I used to try to blend in. I’d dim my light so I wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes. But baby, I’m a neon sign, not a nightlight! When you stop asking for permission to be who you are, it makes people who are still wearing masks very uncomfortable.
- Them: “Why is she so loud?”
- Translation: “I wish I felt safe enough to be heard.”
- Them: “She thinks she’s all that.”
- Translation: “I’m mad that she doesn’t need me to tell her she’s all that.”
3. The “Whole All By Myself” Energy
This is the big one. The quote mentions people who don’t need others to feel complete or validated. That is pure gold. There is a specific kind of peace that comes when you realize your worth isn’t a democratic vote. It’s not up for debate. You aren’t waiting for a text back to feel pretty, and you aren’t waiting for a “good job” to feel capable.
When you move through the world with emotional independence, it’s like you’re carrying an invisible shield. People who rely on external validation to feel good see that independence as a threat. They want to be the one who “makes” you happy so they can have the power to “make” you sad. When you take that power away? Oh, they get salty.
My Advice? Let ‘Em Season Their Own Food.
Look, if people are envious of your strength, your peace, or your ability to bounce back like a bouncy ball on caffeine—let them. You didn’t get this strong by accident. You paid for this “strong” version of yourself with tears, late nights, and a whole lot of internal work.
You earned your joy. If someone else is mad that they can’t find theirs, that’s a “them” problem, not a “Tina” problem. Keep being “too much.” Keep being authentic. Keep being the person who survived the storm and had the audacity to learn how to dance in the rain afterward.
Your vibe is your tribe’s call, but it’s also a “Keep Out” sign for people who aren’t ready for your level of light. Don’t dim it for anyone.
Join the Conversation
Do you ever feel like people are more intimidated by your peace than your success? Let’s vent in the comments—I want to hear your “overcomer” stories!
Interesting read.
You go Girl! I am right there with you. I have always done my own thing. No apologies for being me. 🙂