When Did Being a Decent Person Become a VIP Pass for Others to Act Up?

Hey guys, it’s Tina. Grab a coffee—or something stronger, honestly—because I need to vent about a specific type of logic that has been circulating lately. It’s a logic that makes my brain do backflips, and not the cool, Olympic kind.

I saw this quote today:

“People want you to be solid while they do goofy disrespectful sht.”

When I read that, I didn’t just feel it—I felt it in my soul, my marrow, and that one specific nerve in my left eye that starts twitching when the audacity levels in the room get too high.

Why is it that the more “solid” you are, the more some people treat you like a shock absorber for their nonsense?

The Invisible Contract People Sign When You’re “Solid”

It’s like there’s this invisible contract people sign when they realize you’re a reliable human being. The terms are usually:

Tina will be consistent. Tina will be understanding. Tina will keep her cool. Therefore, I (the “Goofy” Party) can act like a total unmitigated disaster and expect her to just… stay there.

It’s the “Solid Tax.” Because I’m the friend who shows up on time, the partner who communicates, or the coworker who actually finishes the project, people think they can use my stability as a safety net for their own circus acts.

When Disrespect Meets Shock Absorber Energy

I’ve had people look me dead in the face, do something completely out of pocket—we’re talking “forgetting my birthday but calling me to vent about their car insurance” levels of goofy—and then get offended when I don’t respond with a smile and a warm hug.

The best part (and by “best,” I mean the part that makes me want to scream into a pillow) is the reaction you get when you finally stop being solid.

The second you put up a boundary, or heaven forbid, give them the same energy they’re giving you, they look at you like you’ve just grown a second head. Suddenly, you’re the problem.

“Tina, you’ve changed.” “You’re being really aggressive lately.” “I didn’t think you’d take it that way.”

No, Karen, I haven’t changed. I’m just tired of being the only one holding up the “Respect” end of this bridge while you’re over there trying to set the wood on fire for “the aesthetic.”

The Many Flavors of “Goofy Disrespectful” Behavior

We’ve all seen it. The “goofy disrespectful” behavior comes in many flavors:

The Chronic Canceler

They cancel on you four times in a row, but the one time you can’t make it, they post a cryptic Instagram story about “knowing who your real friends are.”

The Selective Listener

They expect you to provide a 45-minute therapeutic breakdown of their life problems, but the moment you start talking about your day, they’re suddenly “really bad at texting.”

The Boundary Blaster

They treat your kindness like a weakness and then act surprised when the “Open” sign on your patience finally flips to “Closed.”

Being a Decent Person Doesn’t Mean Being a Doormat

Here’s what I’ve realized: Being “solid” shouldn’t mean being a doormat. It means having a foundation so strong that it doesn’t shake when I have to tell someone to kick rocks.

I’m still going to be me. I’m still going to be reliable, and I’m still going to be a good person. But I’m officially retiring from the “Shock Absorber” business.

If you want me to be solid for you, you’ve got to at least bring some bricks to the building site. You can’t bring a wrecking ball and then ask why I’m not standing still.

Can Anyone Else Relate?

Can anyone else relate? Or am I just the only one who seems to attract people who think “disrespect” is a personality trait?

Let me know your “goofy” stories in the comments—let’s laugh so we don’t cry.

Stay solid (but only for the right ones),

Tina