Hey everyone, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab a snack (preferably something crunchy so you can vent your frustrations through your teeth), and let’s have a real talk.
When the Benefit of the Doubt Runs Out
I recently saw a quote that hit me like a cold splash of water at 6:00 AM. It said: “One lesson I learned taught me to never put nothing past nobody & to not think that mfs won’t do me like that, cause they will.”
Now, usually, I like to think I’m a “glass-half-full” kind of person. But lately? The glass isn’t just empty; it’s been knocked off the table, and someone’s pretending they didn’t see it happen. We’ve all been there, right? You’re sitting there, minding your own business, being a decent human being, and then—bam—someone you actually trusted does something so “out of character” that you’re left questioning if you actually know anyone at all.
The “Safe” List and the Becky Betrayal
We all have that mental list of people we think are “safe.” You know the ones. The friends who have seen you at your absolute worst (we’re talking 3-day-old pajamas and questionable life choices), the coworkers you share the “secret” office snacks with, or the relatives who swear they have your back.
We tell ourselves, “Oh, Becky would never do that to me. We’ve been friends since we both thought blue eyeshadow was a good idea.”
And then Becky does exactly that.
It’s not even that people are inherently “evil” (well, mostly). It’s that people are human, and humans are surprisingly good at prioritizing themselves in ways that will make your jaw drop. I used to give people the benefit of the doubt until the doubt was all I had left. Now? My “benefit of the doubt” is on a very strict budget.
The Dramatic Slow-Blink Realization
The most relatable part of this whole “never put nothing past nobody” lifestyle is the physical reaction we have when we get burned.
I’ll be standing there, looking at a text or hearing a rumor, and I’ll literally do a dramatic slow-blink. I’ll look around the room like I’m on a hidden camera show, waiting for the host to jump out and say, “Gotcha, Tina! No one is actually that messy!” But no. Nobody jumps out. It’s just me, my iced coffee, and the realization that I once again fell for the “they wouldn’t do that to me” trap.
Surviving Without Becoming a Hermit
So, how do we live without becoming complete hermits who only talk to our houseplants? (Although, my ferns are excellent listeners and have yet to steal my ideas or talk behind my back.)
- Lower the Pedestal: I’ve stopped putting people on pedestals. It’s too high up, the air is thin, and they always fall off eventually anyway. Now, everyone stays at eye level.
- Trust, but Keep Your Receipts: I’m going to be kind, I’m going to be helpful, but I’m also going to keep a mental (and sometimes literal) paper trail. It’s not being “petty”; it’s being a “historian of my own life.”
- The “Expectation” Audit: If I don’t expect you to be a saint, I’m not disappointed when you act like a human. It’s a weirdly peaceful way to live.
A Survival Guide for Your Peace of Mind
At the end of the day, that quote is a survival guide. It’s not about being bitter; it’s about being prepared.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. And if they show you they’re capable of doing you dirty? Don’t be surprised when they pick up the shovel. Just make sure you’re standing somewhere else when they start digging.
I’m still gonna be Tina—the one who laughs too loud and tries too hard—but I’m doing it with my eyes wide open and my guard just high enough to keep the “mfs” at bay.
Have you ever had a “Becky” moment where you realized you couldn’t put anything past anyone? Tell me your story in the comments so we can be shocked together!