Welcome back to Stories from Tina, where we tell the truth, shame the devil, and occasionally hurt a few feelings along the way.
I saw a meme the other day that stopped me in my tracks. I had to pause, screen-shot it, and stare at it for a good five minutes because I have never felt so seen in my entire life. It said: “A nga ain’t never hated it over here, they just hate this mouth.”
Can the church say “Amen”?
Unpacking the “Too Much” Dynamic
Let’s really unpack this, because I know I am not the only one sitting here nodding my head. We need to have an honest conversation about the dynamic that happens when you are a woman who brings everything to the table—the looks, the personality, the support, the fun—but you also happen to come with a voice that you aren’t afraid to use.
Here is the thing: nobody has ever complained about the “experience” of being with me. Oh no, the hospitality? Top tier. The vibe? Immaculate. The support system? Unmatched. When things are good, they are good. They love the way I hold it down. They love the energy. They love that I’m the life of the party and the ride-or-die in the passenger seat.
The Problem Isn’t Me, It’s My Filter
But then… I speak.
See, the problem isn’t me. The problem isn’t “it” over here. The problem is that I have this little thing called an “opinion,” and an even bigger thing called “no filter.” And apparently, for some men, that is the dealbreaker.
When “Strong” Suddenly Becomes “Argumentative”
They love a strong woman until she’s strong with them. They love a funny woman until the joke is about their nonsense. They love an honest woman until she says, “Actually, you’re wrong, and here is an itemized list of reasons why.”
Suddenly, I’m “too much.” Suddenly, I’m “argumentative.” No, baby, I’m not arguing. I’m explaining. There is a difference!
The Luxury Car vs. The Roaring Engine
I think it really comes down to this: They want the luxury car, but they don’t want the engine that roars. They want the spice, but they cry when it burns a little going down. You can’t have the heat without the fire! This mouth? This mouth is part of the package deal. It’s the terms and conditions. You didn’t read the fine print, and now you want a refund? Denied.
Why They Linger When You’re “Difficult”
It’s funny to me because they will swear up and down that you’re “difficult.” But have you noticed they never want to leave? They stay hovering around! They keep texting! They keep checking the stories! If it was so bad, why are you still lurking?
I’ll tell you why. Because like the meme says, they don’t hate it. They don’t hate the life you built or the woman you are. They just hate that you call them out. They hate that you have standards. They hate that this mouth is attached to a brain that sees right through the games.
Stop Apologizing for Your Voice
We have to stop apologizing for “this mouth.” This mouth advocates for us. This mouth sets boundaries. This mouth tells the best jokes. And frankly, if this mouth is the only “problem” you can find with me, then I’m doing pretty good.
So to anyone dealing with a man who loves the perks but hates the personality: Do not hush. Do not quiet down. If they can’t handle the commentary, they don’t deserve the show.
Until next time, keep talking.
— Tina