Grab a coffee, a tea, or maybe something a little stronger, because today we need to talk. I don’t know if there’s something in the water, a weird planetary retrograde that nobody warned me about, or if people have just collectively forgotten how to act, but I have reached my absolute limit.
I am making a public declaration right here, right now: I am not dealing with anyone being wishy-washy anymore. I’m retiring from part-time relationships. I’m hanging up my jersey. I am done.
The “Going Through a Lot” Excuse Myth
Let’s just get the elephant in the room out of the way first. The number one excuse people use when they start acting distant, flakey, or just flat-out strange is, “I’m just going through a lot right now.”
Look, I have a heart. I have empathy. I know life gets heavy. But honestly? I do not care what a person is going through as an excuse for treating me like an option. Why? Because I go through shit, too! We all do! Every single one of us is out here fighting battles, paying ridiculous prices for groceries, and trying to keep our sanity intact.
Why Consistency Matters in Modern Relationships
I have days where just tying my shoes feels like an Olympic event, but you know what I don’t do? I don’t suddenly start treating my people like they are disposable. I don’t leave them on read for three weeks and then pop back in with a casual “Hey stranger!” meme.
Having a hard time is a reason to ask for grace; it is not a free pass to treat the people in your life like seasonal decorations you only pull out when you’re in the mood.
The Audacity of Pick-and-Choose Behavior
What really gets me is the audacity of the “pick and choose” behavior. You know exactly what I mean. It doesn’t matter if we are friends, family, in a relationship, a situationship, or whatever confusing label we want to slap on it today. The rules of basic human decency shouldn’t change based on the day of the week.
Here is how this usually plays out in the wild:
- The Fair-Weather Friend: They are front-and-center when there are free drinks, a party, or when they need to vent about their drama for three hours straight. But the second you need a favor, or just want to grab a quiet coffee, they are suddenly operating on a dial-up connection.
- The Family Ghost: Blood relation apparently comes with a built-in “opt-out” clause for some folks. They ignore your existence for 360 days a year, but suddenly remember you’re family when they need a babysitter, a loan, or someone to side with them in a Thanksgiving argument.
- The Romantic Yo-Yo: One week they are texting you good morning, planning the future, and sending you TikToks they “knew you’d love.” The next week? Radio silence. Then, just when you’ve moved on, they slide into your DMs at 11:30 PM with a “Wyd?”
The Mental Toll of Inconsistency
Don’t pick and choose when you want to deal with me. It’s exhausting. It messes with your head. You end up sitting there wondering, Did I do something wrong? Did I say something offensive last Tuesday? No, you didn’t. They are just being weird.
And that is the perfect word for it, isn’t it? WEIRD. It’s weird to act like we are best friends on Friday and strangers on Monday. It’s weird to act like you don’t know me in front of certain people. It’s weird to expect me to be a constant rock in your life while you act like a tumbleweed in mine.
Drawing the Line and Protecting Your Peace
I am drawing a massive, un-crossable line in the sand. I am protecting my peace. If you want to be in my life, be in my life. Bring your messy days, bring your bad moods, bring your venting sessions—I am here for all of it. Just be consistent. But if you want to play this hot-and-cold, wishy-washy game where I have to guess where we stand every time my phone rings? I’m not dealing with it.
Y’all be weird. And I am simply too busy matching my own energy to try and decode yours.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Stay consistent out there, folks.