Saving My Energy

I saw this quote today, and I think I felt my soul physically exhale. It said: “Everybody is not receptive to mature conversation. People are easily offended when you confront them with issues you have with them… I’ve learned to be okay with saving my energy.”

Can we just sit with that for a second? Because as a nurse, a mom, and a Leo who—let’s be honest—usually has an opinion on everything from patient care to the way someone loads the dishwasher, this hit me right in the “I’m-too-tired-for-this” bone.

Lately, I’ve realized that I have been operating like a 24/7 customer service department for everyone else’s feelings. If there’s a disconnect, I’m the one trying to bridge it. If there’s a misunderstanding, I’m drafting a three-paragraph text to “clarify.” I’ve spent so much time trying to be “heard” that I forgot to check if the person I was talking to even had their ears turned on.

You know that feeling when you approach someone with the most level-headed, “I-statements” only approach? You’re like, “Hey, when this happens, it makes me feel like X,” thinking you’re about to have a breakthrough moment.

Instead, they look at you like you just insulted their entire lineage.

Suddenly, you aren’t trying to “repair a bond”; you’re in a 12-round heavyweight boxing match you didn’t sign up for. They take your desire for growth as a personal attack. And honestly? At 33, I’m realizing I don’t have the cardio for that anymore. Between the kids and the chaos of daily life, my “destruction budget” is exactly zero dollars. I can’t afford to spend my peace of mind trying to convince someone that I’m not the villain in a story they’re writing in their own head.

It sounds scary, right? Being okay with someone thinking you’re the “difficult” one or the “mean” one. But there is a weird, quiet power in just… stopping.

• No more repeating myself. If I said it once and you chose to hear something else, that’s a “you” project, not a “me” project.

• No more fixing every little snag. Some sweaters are just meant to unravel, and some relationships are the same way.

• Saving the energy. I’d rather use that extra spark to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee or actually get through a whole episode of a show without pausing it to argue

The truth is, not everyone is interested in the “work” part of a relationship. They want the perks of the connection without the accountability of the conversation. And learning to be okay with that—to just shrug and go, “Alright, if that’s how you want to see it”—is the ultimate level-up.

I’m trading in my “Let’s Talk About It” hat for my “Let’s Just Not” shoes. It’s quieter over here. My blood pressure is lower. And surprisingly, the people who actually value my voice? They don’t make me scream to be heard.

So, here’s to being misunderstood by the wrong people so we can be fully known by the right ones. Or at the very least, here’s to having enough energy left at the end of the day to not feel like a squeezed-out lemon.

Stay peaceful (and maybe a little bit petty),

Tina