Realizing You’re the Prize

Let’s be real for a second. If you know me—or even if you’ve just been following my chaotic journey of nursing, mom-ing, and trying to survive my 30s—you know that “Old Tina” had a very specific set of skills.

I was that girl. The one who could smell a lie from three zip codes away. The one who would sit there, piecing together 2 and 2, getting 4, and then absolutely crashing out because the math wasn’t mathing. I had a PhD in “Catching You in 4K” and a Masters in “Making Sure You Know I Know.”

Being a Leo, that fire comes naturally. We are loyal to a fault, but if you play in our face? Oh, the explosion was guaranteed. I used to think that reacting, fighting, and calling people out was a sign of strength. I thought that if I didn’t check someone for moving funny behind my back, I was letting them win.

But let me tell you something about turning 33: The energy budget is different.

Somewhere between a 12-hour shift at the hospital, raising Noah and my daughter, and just trying to keep my own head above water, I had an epiphany. I looked at the “Old Tina” meme—the one ready to burn the house down over some disrespect—and I just felt… tired.

I realized I was working harder to prove someone wasn’t worthy of me than they were working to keep me.

The quote I saw today hit me right in the chest: “I was so hard on a mf not playing with me until I realized my worth.”

That’s the shift. That’s the glow-up nobody talks about. It’s not about hair or makeup; it’s about the moment you look in the mirror and realize, “Wait a minute. I’m a good woman. I’m a dedicated mother. I’m loyal. I’m funny. I bring peace, stability, and a whole lot of love to the table.”

Why was I stressing over someone who couldn’t see that? Why was I losing sleep trying to police someone else’s behavior?

So, I retired my badge. I handed in my gun. I am no longer the Relationship Police.

If you are doing something shady behind my back? That’s on you.

If you want to fumble a woman who held you down and supported you? That’s on you.

I stopped being afraid of being played and started realizing that if you play me, you’re really just playing yourself. You’re losing access to me. And honestly? That’s a heavy loss. That’s an “L” you’re going to have to hold, not me.

Now, when things don’t add up, I don’t crash out. I don’t scream. I don’t type out paragraphs of text messages that I’ll regret later. I just observe.

There is so much power in silence. There is so much power in looking at a situation, shrugging your shoulders, and saying, “Okay. Bet.”

It’s not that I don’t care; it’s that I care about my peace more than I care about your drama. My karma is clean. I know what I offer. I know that I love hard and I show up for my people. If someone chooses to disrespect that, it’s not a reflection of my worth—it’s a reflection of their lack of character.

If you’re reading this and you’re still in your “Detective Era,” constantly checking locations, over-analyzing texts, and ready to fight at the drop of a hat—I promise you, it’s better on the other side.

Let them do what they’re going to do. The truth always comes out anyway (it has a funny way of doing that without our help). But in the meantime, don’t let their clown behavior turn you into a circus act.

Stand tall. Know your worth. And remember: You losing them might hurt for a minute, but them losing you? That’s a lifetime regret.

Protect your peace, Queens. We have too much to offer to be stressing over people who can’t even afford our attention. 💅✨