Hey guys, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab a coffee (or something stronger, I don’t judge), and let’s have a little heart-to-heart.
I was scrolling through my phone the other day and saw a quote that hit me right in the chest. It said: “I aint got no hidden agenda. You do right by me, Ima forever do right by you.”
I stared at it for a good five minutes. Why? Because it feels like in today’s world, having no “agenda” is basically a superpower. We live in the era of the “side-eye,” the “read between the lines,” and the “what did she actually mean by that text?” It’s exhausting. Honestly, my brain doesn’t have the storage capacity for a hidden agenda. I’m out here still trying to remember where I put my car keys and why I walked into the kitchen. You think I have a 12-step master plan to manipulate you? Please. I’m just trying to make sure I don’t wear mismatched socks.
I’ve always been a “Simple Math” kind of person.
• You + Kindness = Me + Kindness.
• You + Loyalty = Me + Ride or Die.
• You + Flakiness = Me + Probably “forgetting” to answer your next five invites.
It’s not a threat; it’s just physics! If you treat me well, you have a permanent spot on my “good list.” I’ve noticed that some people find “straightforwardness” suspicious. They’re so used to people having an angle that when they meet someone like me—who just says what they mean—they think I’m playing a very long, very confusing game. “What does Tina want?” they ask.
Sweetie, I want a nap. And maybe a taco. That’s the whole agenda.
I’ve had my fair share of “Learning Experiences” (that’s my polite way of saying “people who did me dirty”). You give them your best, and then—bam—they act like they’ve never met you the second things get inconvenient. For a long time, that made me want to close off. I thought, “Maybe I should start having an agenda. Maybe I should be more calculated.”
But then I realized: That’s just not me. I’m too loud, too honest, and I laugh too much at my own jokes to be a mysterious mastermind. If I have to be a “chess player” to be your friend, I’d rather just go play checkers by myself. At least in checkers, when you get to the other side, you get to be a King. In the game of “Social Agendas,” when you win, you just end up with a bunch of fake people around you. No thanks.
I want to say this plainly and clearly: I don’t move like that. If I rock with you, I rock with you for real. When I say I’ll do right by you, understand that’s not a temporary thing. That’s not mood-based. It’s a value system.
In a world where people are constantly waiting for the “catch,” my lack of one makes them uncomfortable. They’re waiting for the flip. Waiting for the mask to fall. Waiting for me to show my “real” self.
Plot : this is my real self.
I don’t befriend people to compete with them. I don’t show up to collect favors. I don’t do kind things so I can cash them in later. When I give, it’s because I want to. When I show love, it’s because it’s real. No strings attached. No fine print. No “gotcha” moments.
Now don’t get it twisted—just because I’m genuine doesn’t mean I’m naive. I still peep energy. I still clock behavior. I’m not walking around blindfolded. I just choose not to move funny. There’s a big difference.
I believe in reciprocity. If you show me love, I’ll protect you in rooms you’re not even in. If you respect me, I’ll go out of my way to make sure you’re good. But if you do me wrong?
• I don’t plot.
• I don’t scheme.
• I don’t get even.
• I just get distant. And honestly, that speaks louder than anything I could say.
Sometimes I give more than I receive. Sometimes I stay solid even when it would be easier not to. But I sleep good at night because I know I moved clean. I know my intentions were pure. I didn’t have to play games to feel powerful.
The version of me you see is the only one that exists. If I’m mad, you’ll know (mostly because I have the poker face of a toddler). If I love you, you’ll know (because I’ll probably send you way too many memes).
If you do right by me, I’m forever doing right by you. No expiration date. No switching up when it’s no longer convenient. Just real energy from a real heart, every single time.
So, how about you? Are you a “Simple Math” person, or have you been burned by too many “hidden agendas” lately? Let’s vent in the comments!
Until next time,
Tina 💋
“Simple math” is right — and rarer than it should be. I’ve spent 37 years watching kids figure out early whether the adults around them operate that way or not. They clock it fast. Thanks for the honest word — appreciated the visit to Forming 2.0.”Simple math” is right — and rarer than it should be. I’ve spent 37 years watching kids figure out early whether the adults around them operate that way or not. They clock it fast. Thanks for the honest word — appreciated the visit to Forming 2.0.