Hey everyone, it’s Tina.
Let’s have a heart-to-heart. You know that version of me? The one who replies to emails within four minutes, remembers everyone’s birthday, and says “No worries!” even when there are, in fact, many worries?
Yeah, she’s taken a leave of absence.
I recently stumbled across a quote that hit me like a cold splash of water: “My attitude when I no longer give af is disgusting.” And honestly? I felt that in my soul. I didn’t just read it; I lived it. I realized that I have reached the “Premium Subscription” level of indifference, and let me tell you—the view from here is a little bit scary, kind of hilarious, and deeply, deeply “disgusting.”
Reaching the Premium Subscription of Indifference
When I say my attitude becomes “disgusting,” I don’t mean I’m being mean for the sake of it. It’s more of a complete and total system failure of my people-pleasing hardware. You know that feeling when you’ve been the “nice one,” the “reliable one,” or the “one who handles it” for so long that your internal fuse finally just… snaps? That’s where the magic (and the mess) happens.
The End of People-Pleasing: What the “Disgusting” Era Looks Like
Here is what the Tina “Disgusting” Era looks like:
- The Blank Stare: You know those people who try to manipulate you with a long, dramatic pause? In my “disgusting” era, I don’t fill the silence. I just blink. Slowly. Like a confused cow watching a train go by. It’s incredibly effective and apparently very “rude.”
- The “K” Text: I used to be a three-emoji minimum kind of girl. Now? If you send me a paragraph of drama that I didn’t ask for, you’re getting a lowercase “k.” No period. No context. Just a single letter that says, “I have acknowledged your vibration, but I will not be participating in it.”
- The Radical Honesty: Someone asks, “Do you have a minute?” and instead of saying “Sure!” while my brain screams, I just say “No.” No excuse. No “I’m heading into a meeting.” Just… “No.” The look of pure shock on people’s faces is better than any reality TV show.
The Unspoken Expectations on Women
Society spends a lot of time telling us—especially us women—to be soft, accommodating, and “sweet.” So when we finally decide to stop pouring from an empty cup, people act like we’ve grown a second head.
Emotional Labor and the Cost of Being “Nice”
I’ve realized that people call my attitude “disgusting” when I stop providing them with the emotional labor they’ve grown accustomed to for free. If I’m not being a doormat, I must be “difficult.” If I’m not smiling through the nonsense, I must have an “attitude problem.”
Well, if having boundaries and a low tolerance for BS is “disgusting,” then call me the Swamp Thing, because I am leaning in.
A Real-Life Lesson in Setting Boundaries
Last week, a neighbor tried to guilt-trip me into joining a committee I have zero interest in. Usually, I’d spend twenty minutes craftily explaining my “busy schedule.”
This time? I just looked at her and said, “That sounds like a lot of work that I don’t want to do.”
The silence was deafening. I could see her processing it. She expected an apology. She expected a “Maybe next time!” Instead, she got the raw, unedited Tina. I walked away feeling ten pounds lighter, even though I knew she was probably texting the neighborhood group chat about how “disgusting” my tone was.
Welcome to Your Own “Disgusting” Era
To anyone reading this who feels like they’re on the verge of their own “disgusting” era: Welcome. It’s okay to stop giving a… well, you know. It’s okay to let the mask slip. If being “nice” means being exhausted, and being “disgusting” means being at peace, I know which one I’m choosing.
Let’s be real—we aren’t actually being mean. We’re just being done. And there is a huge difference.
So, here’s to the “disgusting” attitudes, the short emails, the “no” without an explanation, and the glorious freedom of finally running out of figs to give.
I’d love to hear from you—what was the moment you realized you’d officially reached your “disgusting” era? Drop a comment and let’s commiserate in our collective lack of care!