Hey everyone, it’s Tina.
Let’s have a heart-to-heart about the “S” word. No, not that one—I’m talking about being Single.
For some reason, society treats being single like a temporary medical condition. You go to a family dinner and suddenly everyone is a volunteer recruiter for the “Get Tina a Man” task force. They look at you with those sad, puppy-dog eyes and ask, “Are you seeing anyone?” with the same tone they’d use to ask if you’ve recovered from a flu.
The Reality of the Relationship Agenda
But I’ve been looking around lately, and I’ve realized something: while everyone is yelling at us to “go get a man,” a lot of the women who actually have one look like they haven’t slept since 2019. They are out here tired, stressed, walking on eggshells, and questioning their worth.
Meanwhile, the single girls are sleeping peacefully (diagonally across the entire bed, mind you), their skin is glowing, and their bank accounts are actually breathing.
When Adults Struggle with the Basics
People keep pushing the relationship agenda, but let’s be real—half of these men out here are struggling with the basics.
The Basic Standards Checklist
- Their emotions (unless “punching a drywall” counts as an emotion).
- Their lust and loyalty.
- Their money (investing in crypto isn’t a personality trait, Kevin).
- Their hygiene (if his bathroom only has a 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash, run).
And I’m supposed to just grab one off the shelf because society says being single is sad? No ma’am. Being single isn’t a curse or a “waiting room” for your real life. In fact, being single is actually the luxury package.
Choosing Solitude Over Emotional Labor
Let’s clear something up: Being single does not automatically mean lonely.
You know what’s actually lonely? Being in a relationship where you’re unheard, disrespected, and carrying the emotional labor for two adults. That’s exhausting.
Single women go to bed without wondering who’s lying to them. They wake up without checking phones for “where are you?” texts at 2:00 AM. They don’t have to babysit grown men or teach basic decency.
That peace? It’s a premium commodity. Why would I trade my clear skin and my 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep for someone who can’t figure out how a laundry basket works?
The Glow of Refusing to Settle
Have you noticed? Single women aren’t rushing; they’re building. They aren’t avoiding love—they’re refusing to accept crumbs and call it a meal.
That glow you see isn’t just makeup or a filter; it’s the result of not having your cortisol levels spiked daily by unnecessary drama.
Love is a Partnership, Not a Liability
Relationships should feel like support, partnership, and safety. If being with someone costs you your confidence or your joy, that’s not love—it’s a liability. And Tina doesn’t invest in liabilities.
If you’re reading this and feeling the pressure to settle just so you have a plus-one for a wedding, take a deep breath. Look at your skin in the mirror. Look at how peaceful your living room is.
Some people are only mad at single women because those women didn’t settle the way they were pressured to. Your choice to protect your peace challenges the “struggle-love” narrative they were sold.
Embracing Your Season of Clarity
Being single is a season of clarity. It’s a time to invest in the most important person in your life: You. You choose your schedule, your standards, and exactly who has access to your energy.
Next time someone asks why you’re still single, just smile and tell them you’ve upgraded to the luxury package—and you aren’t looking for a downgrade right now.
Stay glowing,
— Tina
Lately, your posts seem to be hitting right at the perfect time for me. I’m not sure if it’s pure coincidence or I’m just meant to be reading and listening to what you have to say.
I was with some one for over a year, we broke up at the end of January, because he wanted to “work on himself,” and work through some issues that needed addressing and all that fun stuff. Basically, he never had a 20s had to kids before he was 21. It more less felt, things were getting difficult and instead of truly working them out, he fled.
After I moved out, things actually improved, we did move in quickly, my lease was up in May and we moved me in at the end of March, we have barely been together 4 months. We started to get to know each other again, spending time together, had the emotional and physical relationship there without actually being back together.
The story is ugly and long, but it turns out as soon as I got back from my vacation on the 23rd of April, I stayed with him over night, surprised me with an expensive set of darts, then bam, the 26th he’s in a new relationship with someone else! It was an emotional whip lash, he was good to be able to keep us separate from each other, considering the amount of time I was with him.
After I moved in, I learned about a lien on the house, wage garnishment was in process, he stated he was in $125k worth of debt, but makes $200k a year, so how does that even happen. But, he’s out spending money like he has it. So, either he’s a great liar or something odd is hanging out.
I currently have an attorney to battle him to get my belongings back and the money that he owes me from credit card debt.
As much, as I’m sad, hurt and by the way he viciously cut me out, either he was backed into a corner because I caught him or she was picking up on something or I was a place holder, like you mentioned to make sure he has this woman nailed down.
If you want someone out so quickly, why do emotional whip lash on them by keeping their things.
It took me a long time to be like “okay, I think I’m ready after the last emotional rollercoaster.”
Here I am trying to pull myself together, while still on some level torturing myself on what in the world happened? Is it because she’s prettier? She makes more money than me? He simply can’t be alone? Or when things get hard or if things aren’t going his own way, he moves on?
I know I completely dodged a bullet, my therapist said so, my lawyer, friends. But, it’s the reality, I was awesome when I was single, then I get caught with him and I start eating like crap, drinking more, quit my exercising. But, now I’m 20 pounds lighter, eating better, in exercise more again and I’m actually sleeping better, because I’m not in a constant state of anxiousness and I think, I’ve been like that the entire time I was with him. Always wondering if I was doing enough to make him happy, make sure I was always there emotionally. He took a lot from me, but it wasn’t always equal.
Of course, it was all my fault in the end.
I hope karma gets him in the end.
I know that was a lot, but I couldn’t have felt this post anymore.
Thank you for sharing all of that with me. I’m really sorry you went through such a painful and disorienting situation. What you described sounds like emotional whiplash, and it makes sense that you’re still trying to piece together what happened.
A lot of times, when someone chooses to leave in that messy, avoidant way, the truth has little to do with your worth and everything to do with their own inability to be honest, stable, or accountable. It’s easy to start comparing yourself, blaming yourself, or trying to decode every detail, but none of that changes the fact that you deserved clarity, respect, and basic decency.
I’m glad you have a therapist, attorney, and people around you reminding you of what you already know: you did not cause his choices. And I’m especially glad to hear you’re getting back to yourself — eating better, moving your body again, sleeping better, and feeling less anxious. That part matters. Sometimes leaving the wrong person doesn’t just give you peace, it gives you back your health.
You’re not crazy for still grieving it. You’re not weak for wanting answers. But I do hope you keep protecting your peace and keep choosing the version of you that existed before all that chaos started. That woman was still there the whole time.