When People Write Fiction About Your Life

Welcome back to Stories From Tina.

I was sitting on the couch this morning, Daisy curled up next to me doing that weird, raspy little dog snore she does, and a massive cup of Philz Tesora in my hand—heavy cream, sweet, exactly how it’s meant to be enjoyed. I was doing my usual morning scroll when I came across a post that made me laugh so loud I almost spilled my coffee.

It essentially said: People really be making up whole stories about you, but the whole time they are low-key telling on themselves. Projection is loud as hell. I had to pause, set my mug down, and just nod at my phone. Because, honestly? Where is the lie?

There is nothing quite like minding your business, trying to get through your day, and finding out somebody has become a full-time author, director, and lead actress in a story about you that never happened. Have you ever heard a rumor about yourself that was so wild, so completely detached from reality, that you almost wanted to meet the version of you they were talking about? The plot is always messy, the details are always off, and the confidence is always unmatched.

You’re just standing there thinking, “Wow, it sounds like I had a really busy Tuesday. Wish I had been invited.”

Like, where is this energy when it’s time to pay bills, heal, or mind your own footpath?

The Psychology of Projection

For a long time, hearing that people were talking behind my back would immediately trigger my defense mechanisms. You want to clear your name. You want to track down the source, present a PowerPoint presentation of facts, and demand a retraction like you’re dealing with the New York Times. But as I’ve gotten older—and hopefully a little wiser—I’ve realized something incredibly freeing about personal growth: When people go out of their way to make up a story about you, they aren’t actually talking about you.

What gets me is how folks will tell on themselves while trying to talk about you. They’ll accuse you of exactly what they’re doing, and act like they just uncovered some deep truth. Baby, that is not discernment. That is projection with a microphone.

Understanding the “Teller Teller”

Let’s break down the psychology of the “Teller Teller.” A person can only avoid themselves for so long before it starts leaking out in their words, their tone, their reactions, and the strange amount of energy they keep directing at somebody else. When someone is deeply uncomfortable with their own actions, jealousy, or lack of peace, they have two choices: look in the mirror and hold themselves accountable (hard work), or take all those messy feelings and paste them onto someone else (easy work).

They will say you’re “doing too much” while they’re doing a TED Talk, a group chat recap, and a social media sermon all before lunch. They’ll call you dramatic while they are the entire season finale. They will call you manipulative while they’re pulling strings, or insecure while they’re the ones keeping score. The lack of self-awareness is honestly impressive in the most alarming way.

The Illusion of “Not Caring”

You ever notice how some folks act like they’re above the drama, but they somehow know every detail? They claim they “don’t care,” but they have updates, opinions, timelines, and a whole emotional investment package. Make it make sense.

At some point, you stop being shocked and start being observant. You realize the noise isn’t always about you. Sometimes you just happened to be standing near somebody’s unresolved issue when it came spilling out. Some people are not reacting to you; they are reacting to the parts of themselves they don’t want to sit with. They are not describing your character. They are describing their panic.

The Trap of Defending Yourself

One of the hardest lessons in adulthood is learning that not every lie deserves a response, and not every foolish story deserves an audience.

Sometimes people want your reaction more than they want the truth. They want you emotional. They want you scrambling. They want you explaining yourself to an empty room like the room is the judge, jury, and bailiff. And if you’re not careful, you’ll spend all your energy trying to correct somebody who never planned to understand you in the first place.

That’s the trap.

You keep thinking, surely if I explain it clearly enough, calmly enough, kindly enough, they’ll finally get it. But sometimes they already get it. They just like the version where they feel powerful and can stay confused on purpose.

Choosing Peace Over Proof

So I’ve learned this:

• Silence can be a shield.
• Distance can be wisdom.
• Not every battle needs my voice attached to it.

That does not mean I’m weak. It means I’m tired in a very informed way.

Some people think when you stop arguing, you lost. I disagree. Sometimes when you stop arguing, it means you’ve finally chosen yourself. It means you’ve looked at the whole circus, seen the clowns, the lights, the cheap seats, and said, “No thank you, I will be taking my spirit elsewhere.”

There is a kind of strength that comes from refusing to be pulled into nonsense over and over again. And let’s be honest: some people are addicted to confusion because it gives them room to avoid responsibility. If the story stays messy, they never have to sit with their choices. That’s why your peace feels offensive to people who thrive in chaos. Your calm irritates them because it removes their supply.

Finding Humor in the Chaos

Sometimes you have to laugh because if you don’t, you’ll end up staring into space like you just saw the spirit leave somebody’s body mid-sentence.

Tell me why people will make up a whole storyline, act it out in their heads, and then get mad that you didn’t receive their fictional performance with gratitude? Like, I’m sorry, I did not know we were all participating in your little reality show!

They’ll say, “I just feel like you meant…” Feelings are not facts, sweetheart.

Or they’ll say, “People are saying…” Who is people? Name them. Produce the receipts. Put the group chat on the stand. I’m not arguing with vibes. I need evidence.

That’s the thing about grown women with a little humor and a little discernment. We can clock the nonsense and still keep our face straight long enough to get home and laugh about it later. Because really, what else can you do? Cry? Sometimes. Pray? Absolutely. Laugh a little? Necessary.

The Power of Being Done

If nobody has told you this lately, let me say it plain: Being misjudged does not mean you are wrong. Being misunderstood does not mean you are invisible. Being talked about does not mean you are losing.

Sometimes it simply means somebody else is uncomfortable with what your existence brings up in them. Your boundaries expose their entitlement. Your clarity threatens the stories they need to survive their own confusion. That is not your burden to carry forever. You do not have to keep volunteering to be the emotional landfill for people who refuse to sort through their own mess.

At some point, you have to choose the quiet dignity of being done.

I’ve learned that people can be loud in all the wrong ways and still be deeply empty inside. I’ve learned that clarity can sound like “distance” to people who benefited from your confusion. And I’ve learned that sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is keep living, keep building, keep healing, and let the story tell on itself.

Protecting Your Peace

So if somebody is out here making up whole chapters about you, let them. If they are busy projecting their own shadows onto your name, let them. If they are lowkey confessing through accusation, let that be their testimony, not your trauma.

Me? I’m choosing peace, discernment, and a healthy sense of humor. Because I can’t afford to be spiritually tired trying to correct every person committed to misunderstanding me.

If this hit home, good. Sometimes the healing comes from realizing you’re not the only one who has had to laugh to keep from crying. We are out here trying our best, protecting our peace, and refusing to let other people’s projections become our identity.

And for the record, if you are one of those people making up whole stories about somebody else while your own life is sending you strong messages… maybe sit with that. Quietly. With less commentary. The mirror is free.

Until next time, keep growing and keep protecting your peace.

— Tina