Hey guys, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab a coffee (or a glass of wine, I’m not judging), and let’s have a real-talk session.
You ever have that one person? You know the one. They tell you they love you, and for a second, you’re like, “Aww, stop it, you.” But then you look at the clock and realize they haven’t replied to your text since Tuesday, and the only reason they’re calling now is because their other plans fell through or their Wi-Fi went out.
I recently saw a quote that hit me like a bag of bricks:
“Don’t tell me you love me when you can disappear for an entire day without a thought… That’s not love. That’s convenience.”
Ouch. My ego felt that one in its soul.
The Mystery of the Disappearance Act
Let’s talk about the Disappearance. I’m not talking about being busy at work or forgetting your phone in the car. I’m talking about those people who treat communication like a game of hide-and-seek where you’re the only one seeking.
The Hide-and-Seek Communication Game
They’ll leave a conversation unfinished—usually right when it’s getting interesting—and then pop back in 24 hours later like, “Hey! What’s up?” as if the last day didn’t happen. Meanwhile, I’m over here wondering if I accidentally offended them or if they’ve been kidnapped by a group of highly organized squirrels.
Passing the Priority Test
Then there’s the Priority Test. You ever notice how some people are your best friend when the room is empty? They’re all about “love” and “connection” when it’s just the two of you. But the second a “better” option walks in—a cooler friend, a louder party, or literally anyone else—suddenly you’re as invisible as a salad at a barbecue.
It’s an exhausting way to live, isn’t it? Being someone’s “boredom cure.”
The Expectation of a “Normal” Return
But here is the kicker, the part that really gets my eyes rolling: they expect you to be completely normal when they decide to come back. They want the fun version of you. The “doesn’t ask questions” version. They don’t want to hear that their silence hurt your feelings or that being treated like a backup plan is, frankly, super annoying.
Stop Settling for “Convenience Human” Status
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to swallow my “Hey, that actually sucked” and replace it with a “Haha, it’s fine,” I’d be writing this blog from my private island in the Maldives.
Look, I’m not saying we should all be 24/7 texters (heaven knows I need my “stare at the ceiling in silence” time). But there’s a difference between being a busy human and being a “convenience human.”
Love is Not a DMV Waiting Room
Love shouldn’t feel like you’re waiting for your number to be called at the DMV. It should feel consistent. If they only love you when they’re free, that’s not a relationship—that’s a hobby. And frankly, I’m a high-maintenance hobby.
You Aren’t a Convenience Store
The Takeaway: If someone makes you feel like an option, remember that you have the option to leave the conversation unfinished for good. You aren’t a “convenience store”—you aren’t open 24/7 for people who only show up when they need a snack.