Hey everyone, it’s Tina.
I was scrolling through my feed the other day—you know, that dangerous “I’ll just look for five minutes” habit that turns into an hour of questioning your life choices—and I saw a quote that hit me like a cold splash of water. It basically said: “I don’t kiss ass, I don’t stroke egos, and I don’t care about your status. I show love to who shows love to me.”
I practically high-fived my phone screen.
As I’ve gotten older (and hopefully a little wiser, though my husband might argue that), I’ve realized that life is way too short to spend your energy performing for people who wouldn’t even hold the door open for you if you were carrying ten bags of groceries.
Status vs. Substance: The “Blue Checkmark” Fallacy
We live in this weird world where we’re almost expected to “fan-girl” over people just because they have a certain job title, a flashy car, or a high follower count. But let’s be honest: having a “Blue Checkmark” on social media doesn’t mean you’re a good person. It just means you’re verified. You can be “verified” and still be a jerk.
I’ve never been good at the whole “playing the game” thing. You know the type—the person who walks into a room and scans for the most important person to talk to, ignoring everyone else like they’re background actors in a movie. If I’m at a party and you’re acting like your breath smells like peppermint and sunshine just because you got a promotion, I’m probably the one standing by the snack table looking for the good dip and ignoring the vibe you’re trying to set.
The Exhaustion of High-Maintenance Egos
There is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from being around people who need constant validation. It’s like their ego is a tiny, high-maintenance puppy that needs to be petted every thirty seconds or it starts barking.
- “Don’t I look great?”
- “Did you see how many likes I got?”
- “Everyone thinks I’m the best at literally anything”
Look, I’m all for self-confidence. We should love ourselves! But there’s a difference between confidence and needing a dedicated cheerleading squad just to get through a Tuesday. I don’t have the lung capacity to blow that much smoke up anyone’s chimney. I’d rather have a real, messy conversation about how we both burnt dinner or how adulting is basically just Googling “how to fix this” until you die.
The Importance of Reciprocity in Relationships
The last part of that quote is the most important: “I show love to who shows love to me.”
This isn’t about being petty or keeping a scoreboard. It’s about reciprocity. It’s about spending your precious time and heart-space on the people who actually show up.
- The Intentional Friend: The one who texts you “Thinking of you” when you’re having a rough week.
- The Genuine Neighbor: The one who actually says hello instead of pretending to be busy with their keys.
- The Real Family: The ones who love you for Tina, not for what Tina can do for them.
Keeping My Circle Small and Honest
If you’re out here being kind, being genuine, and treating people like human beings regardless of their “status,” then you are my kind of person. I will go to the ends of the earth for the people who are real with me.
But if you’re waiting for me to bow down because you think you’re a “somebody”? Well, you might be waiting a long time. I’ll be over here, keeping my dignity intact and my circle small, honest, and full of actual love.
What about you guys? Have you ever felt the pressure to “kiss ass” to get ahead? How do you keep it real in a world that feels obsessed with status?
Drop a comment and let’s chat—I promise I won’t make you stroke my ego!
Stay real,
Tina