Why Being the Topic of Conversation is Actually a Flex

Hey guys, it’s Tina. Grab a coffee (or a glass of wine, I’m not judging), sit down, and let’s have a real-heart-to-heart about something that’s been tickling my funny bone lately.

I saw this quote today: “Glad I’m the b!tch being talked about and not the unhappy b!tch doing the talking.”

For a long time, I used to get really upset about it. I’d think, “Why are they saying that? Don’t they have anything better to do?” But then it hit me, like a realization after a third espresso: No. They actually don’t. And honestly? I felt that in my soul.

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The Physics of Gossip: Your Unpaid Biographers

We’ve all been there. You walk into a room, or you post a photo, or you simply exist in a way that’s a little “too much” for some people, and suddenly, you can feel the whispers. You see the side-eyes. You find out through the grapevine that your life has become the weekly podcast for someone who definitely wasn’t invited to the recording studio.

Think about the physics of gossip for a second. To talk about someone else, you have to be looking at them. You have to be observing their moves, their outfits, their mistakes, and their wins. While I’m out here living my life—sometimes messily, sometimes brilliantly, but always loudly—they are essentially my unpaid biographers.

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The Main Character Tax

It’s exhausting being the “Main Character,” sure. There’s a tax you pay for being bold enough to be yourself. But I’d much rather pay that tax than be part of the audience, sitting in the dark, critiquing a show I’m too scared to audition for.

Why Their Opinions Are Actually About Them

There is a specific kind of freedom that comes when you realize that people’s opinions of you are more about them than they are about you:

• If they’re talking about your ambition? They’re probably frustrated with their own stagnation.
• If they’re talking about your outfit? They’re likely bored with their own closet.
• If they’re talking about your “attitude”? It usually just means you stopped catering to their expectations.

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Charging a Subscription Fee for the Entertainment

I’ve realized that if I’m the topic of conversation, it’s because I’m providing “content” just by existing. And honey, I should be charging a subscription fee for this level of entertainment.

I don’t say this to be mean—okay, maybe a little sassy—but gossip is really just a symptom of an empty schedule. When you are truly happy, truly busy, and truly obsessed with your own personal growth, you don’t have the bandwidth to wonder why “Tina” did X, Y, or Z.

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From “Unhappy” to Unbothered: A Reality Check

I’ve been the “unhappy b!tch” before. We all have. Those seasons of life where you feel small, so you try to make others look small to level the playing field. Looking back, I wasn’t mean; I was just miserable. So now, when I hear my name is in someone’s mouth, I don’t get mad. I actually feel a little bad for them. Like, “Is your life really that quiet that my Tuesday morning is your breaking news?”

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Stay Bold, Stay Messy, Stay Talked About

So, here is my promise to myself (and to you): I am going to keep being “too much.” I’m going to keep making choices that make people tilt their heads. I’m going to keep being the person who gives them something to talk about at brunch.

Because at the end of the day, I’d rather be the one living a life worth mentioning than the one sitting on the sidelines, wasting my breath on someone else’s story. If you’re currently the “talk of the town,” take a bow. You’re clearly doing something right. Keep your head high, your standards higher, and let them keep talking. They’re just fans in denial.

Stay bold, stay messy, and stay talked about.

Love,

Tina

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