I Am Not a Pit Stop, I Am the Whole Vacation

I was scrolling through my feed today, minding my own business, trying to be a peaceful, hydrated human being, when I saw this image and nearly dropped my phone on my face.

“I’m an experience. Not a phase or a milestone. A full-blown experience.”

I have never read something and felt it so deep in my spirit. I need to print this out, frame it, and hand it to every person who tries to enter my life from this day forward. It should be part of the waiver they sign before the first date.

The Reality of Being Treated Like a “Phase”

Because let’s be real for a second—how many of us have been treated like a “phase”?

You know what I’m talking about. The “phase.” This is when someone dates you because they’re going through a “wild streak” or they want someone “different” to shake up their boring little life. You’re the excitement. You’re the spice. But deep down, they treat you like a temporary tattoo—fun for a minute, but they’re already scrubbing you off before they have to go back to their “real” life.

Honey, I am not a phase. I am not your “rebellious summer.” I am not the girl you date just to annoy your mother.

I Am Not a Milestone, Either

This one actually makes me madder than the phase. The “milestone” treatment is when someone uses you for character development.

Ladies, you know this one too well. You date a guy, you teach him how to communicate, you teach him how to dress, you teach him that washing his face with 3-in-1 body wash is a crime against humanity. You put in the work. You help him grow up.

And then what happens? He takes all those upgrades, leaves, and marries the next girl he meets because now he’s “ready.”

Retiring as a Rehabilitation Center

Excuse me? I am not a rehabilitation center for emotionally unavailable men. I am not a stepping stone you step on to get to your “happy ending.” I am the main event! I am the destination!

What It Means to Be a “Full-Blown Experience”

When I say I’m a “full-blown experience,” I mean that knowing me changes the trajectory of your life. I mean that I come with high definition, surround sound, and 4D effects.

Being an experience means I have layers. I’m funny, I’m loyal, I’m loving, but I’m also going to call you out when you’re acting foolish. I’m going to challenge you. I’m going to love you hard, but I’m going to expect you to show up correctly.

The Basic Package vs. The Premium Experience

Some people—let’s call them the “basic package” people—can’t handle the premium experience. They want something easy. They want something quiet. They want a background character.

And that is fine. Go find your background character. Go find someone who will nod and smile and never challenge you to be better. But don’t come over here to the VIP section and complain that the music is too loud.

Why the True Experience Sticks With You

Here is the thing about being an experience: We stick with you.

Even if we break up. Even if we stop talking. You will remember me. Ten years from now, you’ll be sitting on your beige couch in your beige living room, eating unseasoned chicken, and you will think, “Man, remember Tina? That was a time.”

Exactly.

You don’t forget an experience. You survive it. You learn from it. You talk about it for years.

Never Water Yourself Down

So, to anyone reading this who has ever been told they are “too much,” or “too intense,” or “complicated”—take it as a compliment. Being “too much” just means you have depth. It means you have a soul. It means you are vibrant.

Don’t water yourself down to be a “phase” for someone who can’t handle the full experience. Let them go find a puddle to splash in. You are an ocean.

— Tina