Let’s be real for a second. We’ve all seen that meme—the one that says, “If I cussed you out an hour ago, then text you ‘wyd,’ just act normal.” When I first saw that, I didn’t just laugh; I felt personally attacked. I felt like someone had been spying on my living room through the webcam and decided to summarize my entire personality in one sentence. Because, hi, I’m Tina, and I am a professional practitioner of what I like to call “Emotional Parkour.”
One minute I’m scaling the walls of Mount Rage because someone left a single wet spoon in the sugar jar, and sixty minutes later, I’m gracefully leaping back into civil society, wondering if that same person wants to go grab tacos.
Look, I’m not saying it’s right. I’m just saying it’s me. My emotions don’t have a “simmer” setting. I go from 0 to “I am deleting your number and moving to a remote cabin in the woods” in about four seconds.
The Peak Mood Swing Zone
Usually, the “cussing out” phase happens during what I call the Peak Mood Swing Zone. Maybe I haven’t had enough caffeine, or maybe I’ve had too much caffeine and now I can see through time. Whatever the trigger, the words come out, the bridges are momentarily set on fire, and I feel very justified in my fury.
But here’s the thing about being an “all-or-nothing” person: once the fire burns out, the air clears really fast.
An hour passes. I’ve had a snack. I’ve looked at a picture of a baby goat in a sweater. Suddenly, the rage feels like it happened in a different lifetime. I don’t feel like the person who just used three different four-letter words to describe your inability to text back.
I feel like a brand-new Tina. A Tina who is bored. A Tina who wants to know what you’re doing.
The “wyd” Olive Branch
So, I send the text: “wyd?”
In my head, I’m being casual. In the recipient’s head, they are probably still checking their vitals and wondering if they need a witness protection program.
A Note to My Friends
A Note to My Friends: If you receive a “wyd” text after a “Tina Tornado,” please understand that the “wyd” is actually my version of an olive branch. It’s me saying, “I’ve completed my internal audit, the demons have been evicted, and I am ready to resume our scheduled programming.”
Why You Should Lean Into the Chaos
I know what you’re thinking. “Tina, you can’t just yell at me and then ask about my lunch plans.” Actually, I can. And here is why you should lean into it:
- Efficiency: Why spend three days “talking through” a mood I don’t even have anymore? That’s exhausting. Let’s just skip to the part where we’re friends again.
- Low Stakes: If I’m texting you “wyd,” it means I’m not holding a grudge. The slate is clean! I’ve literally forgotten why I was mad, so if you bring it up, you’re just making work for both of us.
- The Mystery: Keeps the relationship spicy, doesn’t it? You never know which Tina you’re going to get, but you know she’ll always come back around for tacos.
The Perks of Forgetting Why We’re Mad
Life is too short to stay mad for longer than an hour. If I’ve reached the “wyd” stage of the afternoon, it means the storm has passed, the sun is out, and I probably want to vent to you about someone else who annoyed me five minutes ago.
So, if you’re reading this and you’ve been on the receiving end of my “Emotional Parkour”—thank you for your service. Your patience is noted, and your reward is that I haven’t blocked you… yet.
Stay chaotic, my friends.
This is hilarious, sharp, and painfully relatable in the best way.
You’ve turned emotional whiplash into an art form—“Emotional Parkour” alone deserves a standing ovation. The pacing is perfect: the rage, the justification, the snack-based recovery, the sudden rebirth into a bored, taco-seeking version of yourself. Every beat lands because it’s honest and self-aware without ever taking itself too seriously.