Hey everyone, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab a snack (hopefully one you don’t have to share), and let’s have a real talk about the emotional gymnastics of being human.
I saw a quote recently that basically summed up my entire personality in four lines. It said: “One thing about me, I’m never bitter! A situation may hurt me and I may lash out, but once it’s done, it’s done and I’m cool off it and you.”
When I read that, I felt seen. I felt heard. And then I felt like I needed a nap because honestly? Being bitter is exhausting.
The Release Valve: Why I Lash Out Instead of Holding Grudges
Let’s be honest: I am not a saint. I’m not one of those people who gets treated like a doormat and says, “Oh, thank you for the footprint on my forehead, let me get you a glass of water.”
Nope. If you hurt me, I’m going to react. There might be a sharp comment, a very pointed “Are you serious?” look, or maybe a full-blown verbal fireworks display. I’m human! I have feelings, and sometimes those feelings come out like a pressurized soda can that’s been dropped down a flight of stairs.
But here’s the thing—that explosion? That’s the release valve. I’m getting the “ick” out of my system. I’m lashing out because I’m processing the hurt in real-time. It’s loud, it’s messy, and it’s usually over in about fifteen minutes.
The Exhausting Reality of Being Bitter
You know those people who hold onto a grudge for three decades? The ones who remember exactly what you said on a Tuesday in 2004 and bring it up every Thanksgiving? How do they have the energy?
The Four Steps of Holding a Grudge
To be bitter, you have to:
- Wake up and remember who you’re mad at.
- Replay the argument in your head while brushing your teeth.
- Plan your “revenge” (which usually just involves ignoring their Instagram stories).
- Carry around that heavy, hot coal in your chest all day.
I don’t have the storage space for that. My brain is already 90% full of song lyrics I don’t remember learning and thoughts about what I’m having for dinner. There is no room for a “Hate List.”
“Once It’s Done, It’s Done”: The Power of Moving On
The quote says, “Once it’s done, it’s done.” That is my life motto.
Once the dust settles and I’ve had my moment, I’m genuinely over it. I don’t sit around plotting your downfall. I don’t wish bad things on you. In fact, I’m so “cool off it” that I usually forget why I was even mad in the first place.
But—and this is a big “but”—I’m also cool off you.
Revoking VIP Access for Your Inner Peace
Being “cool off you” doesn’t mean I’m still angry. It just means the bridge has been dismantled and the pieces have been moved to a different county. I can be polite. I can wish you well. I can even laugh at your jokes if we’re in the same room. But the “VIP Access” to my life? That’s revoked.
It’s not out of spite; it’s out of peace. I’ve realized that I can forgive someone and still decide I don’t want them at my birthday party.
If you’re like me, people might call you “intense” or “dramatic” when you’re in your lashing-out phase. They might not understand how you can be so mad one minute and totally fine the next.
But tell them what I tell them: I’d rather have a five-minute storm than a five-year drought.
I’m keeping my heart light. I’m keeping my vibes high. And if that means I blow off a little steam and then move on with my life like nothing happened? Well, that’s just the Tina way. Life is too short to drink sour milk, and it’s definitely too short to stay bitter.
What about you guys? Are you the “hold a grudge for life” type, or are you on the “One and Done” team with me? Let me know in the comments—unless you’re mad at me, in which case, just wait ten minutes, I’m sure we’ll be fine!