Hey everyone, it’s Tina.

I saw this quote today: “Being sneaky behind a good person’s back will always catch up to you. Remember that.”

Normally, I’d scroll past the “inspirational” quotes because they usually feel like they were written by someone who has never accidentally replied “all” to a company-wide email. But this one? This one hit me right in the conscience. Probably because I am, by nature, the least “sneaky” person on planet Earth.

If I try to keep a secret, my forehead literally starts sweating. If I’m trying to hide a surprise, I start acting so weird that people think I’m having a medical emergency. But we’ve all been there, right? That moment where you think you’re being a tactical mastermind, only for the universe to tap you on the shoulder and say, “Nice try, Tina, but no.”

We aren’t always being “sneaky” in a villainous way. Sometimes it’s the small things:

• Trying to eat the last brownie at 11:00 PM without the kids/partner/dog hearing the crinkle of the plastic wrap.

• Telling your boss you’re “working from home” when you’re actually at the DMV because, let’s be real, that’s a six-hour journey into the abyss.

• Pretending you’ve seen that critically acclaimed documentary everyone is talking about when you actually just watched “The Office” for the 400th time.

But the quote mentions “good people.” And that’s where the karma really kicks in.

Whenever I’ve tried to pull a fast one on a genuinely kind soul, it doesn’t just “catch up” to me—it chases me down like a marathon runner. Good people have this weird, unintentional superpower where their pure energy acts as a lie detector. You try to hide something from them, and suddenly you’re stuttering like a broken record player.

I remember this one time—and this stays between us—where I tried to “sneakily” hide the fact that I’d accidentally shrunk my best friend’s favorite sweater. She is the kindest human alive. She’d give you the literal shirt off her back (which was the problem, because I had it).

I thought, “I’ll just buy the exact same one, wash it so it looks worn, and she’ll never know.” The Universe’s Response: 1.  The store was sold out.

2.  The online version was “vintage” and cost $200.

3.  I finally found a knock-off, but it arrived smelling like industrial glue.

When I finally handed it to her, she looked at it for two seconds and said, “Tina… why is this sweater three sizes too small and why does it smell like a tire fire?”

The “catch up” wasn’t even her being mad. It was the guilt. That’s the real tax. Being sneaky behind a good person’s back is like trying to hide a skunk in your basement. Eventually, the whole house is going to know something is off.

There’s a certain peace that comes with just being an open book. Sure, the book might have some coffee stains and a few pages missing, but at least I don’t have to remember which lie I told to whom.

When you’re “sneaky,” you’re constantly looking over your shoulder. You’re playing a game of mental chess where you’re playing against yourself, and let me tell you, I am not good at chess. I barely understand how the horse piece moves.

So, here is my takeaway for the day:

If you’re thinking about being sneaky, just remember that the “good person” in your life probably deserves better, and you definitely don’t need the stress of a cover-up operation. Plus, if you’re anything like me, you’re going to get caught anyway. Probably by tripping over your own feet while trying to exit the room quietly.

Stay honest, stay slightly chaotic, and for the love of everything, don’t put wool sweaters in the dryer.