Hey friends, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab a coffee (or a glass of wine, no judgment here), and let’s have a real-talk session.

You know those days where you wake up, stub your toe on the bedframe, realize you’re out of milk, and the universe just feels like it’s out to get you? I had one of those last Tuesday. By the time I hit the checkout line at the store, I was a walking ball of frayed nerves.

The woman in front of me was struggling with her coupons. She was slow. Painfully slow. I found myself huffing, checking my watch, and giving her the kind of side-eye that could melt lead. I was being “that person.”

Then, she turned around, her eyes welling up, and whispered, “I’m so sorry, I just lost my job this morning and I’m trying to make sure I have enough for dinner.”

Ouch. My frustration evaporated instantly, replaced by a massive wave of guilt. It reminded me of that saying we’ve all heard but rarely sit with: Hurt people, hurt people.

When we’re walking around with unhealed wounds—whether it’s a bad breakup, a toxic boss, or just a lifetime of being told we aren’t enough—we tend to leak that pain onto everyone else. It’s like carrying a leaky bucket of red paint; everywhere we go, we leave a mess, often without even realizing it.

But here is the beautiful flip side that we don’t talk about enough: Healed people, heal people.

When I finally took a breath and apologized to that woman, telling her to take all the time she needed (and even slipping the cashier a twenty for her bill), the energy shifted. Her shoulders dropped. She smiled. My own “bad day” funk lifted. By choosing to act from a place of healing rather than my own petty annoyance, the cycle broke.

We talk a lot about “boundaries” these days, but I want to talk about Safety.

Safe people create safety. Have you ever met someone who just feels like a warm blanket? You don’t have to perform for them. You don’t have to edit your thoughts. You can say, “Tina, I totally messed up today,” and they don’t judge you.

Being a safe person doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. it means you’ve done the work to be a solid ground for others to land on. When we are secure in ourselves, we stop being a threat to others, and we start being a sanctuary.

Then there are the Free Spirits. And no, I don’t just mean people who live in vans and make their own deodorant (though, more power to ya!).

I mean people who are internally free. People who have shed the “shoulds” of society. Free spirits help others feel free. When you see someone living their truth—laughing too loud, chasing a “crazy” dream, or wearing neon yellow just because it makes them happy—it gives you a silent permission slip to do the same.

Freedom is contagious. When I finally stopped trying to fit into the “perfect professional” box and started being my messy, humorous, slightly chaotic self, I noticed my friends started opening up more too.

I know the world feels heavy right now. It’s easy to want to dim your light so you don’t stand out, or because you’re tired of the wind trying to blow it out. But here is the Tina Truth of the day:

Love always wins. It might not win the sprint, but it absolutely wins the marathon.

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

• That “rude” waiter? Maybe he’s worried about rent.

• That “aggressive” driver? Maybe she’s rushing to the hospital.

• That “annoying” neighbor? Maybe they’re just lonely.

When you choose to lead with light—not a fake, “everything is perfect” light, but a real, “I see you and I care” light—you change the chemistry of the room. You become the person who helps others heal, who creates safety, and who encourages freedom.

So, here’s my challenge for you (and for me!): The next time someone “hurts” you with a comment or an attitude, try to remember they are likely just leaking their own pain. Don’t take the paint. Instead, be the light that helps them find their way back to their own healing.

Keep shining, you beautiful humans. The world is a lot brighter with you in it.