Ugh, where do I even begin with this never-ending saga of my life? It’s like no matter how hard I try, I just can’t catch a break when it comes to making friends and connecting with people. It’s an absolute nightmare, and quite frankly, I’m at my wit’s end trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

You know, I really thought transitioning from a CNA to an LVN would be a chance for a fresh start. A clean slate, if you will, to reinvent myself and finally break this awful cycle of rejection and isolation. But nope, same old story. As soon as I start trying to get to know my new coworkers, they instantly put up these massive walls and treat me like I’ve got the plague or something.

I’ll try to make casual conversation, maybe ask if anyone wants to grab lunch or do happy hour after work, and they just give me these strange, uncomfortable looks. Then they’ll start whispering to each other and abruptly change the subject whenever I’m around. It’s so painfully obvious that they want nothing to do with me, and it’s absolutely mortifying.

And it’s not just my coworkers – I can’t seem to make any friends outside of work either. I put myself out there, I try to be genuine and approachable, but it’s always the same result: total and complete rejection. No matter how hard I try, I can never get anyone to truly open up to me or want to spend time with me. It’s like the universe has some personal vendetta against me and is determined to make sure I never have any meaningful connections.

Every time I try to exchange numbers with someone or make plans to hang out, it’s just crickets. They’ll make up some lame excuse or just straight up ignore me. And then I’ll see them out living their best lives, laughing and having the time of their lives with all their other friends. Meanwhile, I’m sitting at home alone, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

It’s not just potential new friends either – even the people I’ve known for years can’t stand me. They’ll go months or even years without speaking to me, and then when I do try to reconnect, they act all suspicious and distant. Like they’re just waiting for me to do something wrong so they can cut me off again. And the absolute worst part is, I know they’re talking about me behind my back!

I’ll catch little snippets of them asking mutual acquaintances about my life, my relationships, my job – everything. But they won’t even have the decency to just come to me directly. Nope, they have to be sneaky and underhanded about it. It’s like they’re all part of some secret anti-Tina club, constantly plotting ways to undermine me and make sure I never succeed.

And the rejection doesn’t stop there, oh no. It’s like I have this awful, wicked reputation that I can never shake, no matter what I do. Even on social media, I feel completely blacklisted and blocked at every turn. I can barely make a dime, let alone gain any real traction or connections. It’s so demoralizing, I can hardly stand it.

Every time I feel like I’m making even the tiniest bit of progress, someone swoops in to sabotage me and make sure I never get to experience the happiness and fulfillment that they have. It’s like their sole purpose in life is to destroy me and make sure I stay miserable and depressed, just like them. I just don’t understand what I did to deserve this kind of treatment.

Why am I so universally hated and rejected? What is it about me that’s so off-putting and untrustworthy? I try so hard to be a good person, to put myself out there and be vulnerable. But it always blows up in my face, without fail. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just doomed to be alone forever – like, is this my cross to bear? To never have real friends or connections, to always be the outcast that everyone avoids and mistrusts?

The thought of it is enough to send me into a spiral of depression and hopelessness. I mean, how do you even come back from something like that? When literally every single person in your life, from your coworkers to your own family, seems to despise you and want nothing to do with you? It’s enough to make a person want to give up entirely.

But I can’t, right? I have to keep trying, even if it feels completely and utterly hopeless. Maybe one day, I’ll find my people. The ones who can see past this “wicked reputation” that I apparently have and just give me a chance to be myself. Until then, I guess I’ll just keep putting myself out there and hoping for the best. Wish me luck, because lord knows I’m gonna need it.

I feel like I’ve tried every trick in the book – being overly friendly, keeping to myself, putting on a confident front, being more vulnerable. And nothing works! It’s like I’m cursed or something. No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to break through this wall of distrust and rejection.

And the worst part is, I have no idea why. What is it about me that is so off-putting and untrustworthy? Am I really that much of a burden to be around? Do I have some kind of aura that just instantly turns people off? I rack my brain trying to figure it out, but I always come up empty.

Maybe it’s my job history – the fact that I can never seem to hold down a steady gig. Or maybe it’s my lack of close relationships and friends. Does that make me seem unstable or unreliable somehow? I just don’t know. All I know is that wherever I go, whoever I try to connect with, I’m met with the same cold shoulder and suspicious behavior.

And it’s not just casual acquaintances either. Even my own family can’t stand me! We used to be so close, but now they barely even talk to me. They’re always making excuses not to get together, and I’m pretty sure they have a group chat where they complain about me. How’s that for family love, huh?

It’s humiliating, really. I’ll try to reach out and make plans, only to be met with vague responses and obvious avoidance. And then I’ll see them all out living their best lives, laughing and having the time of their lives without me. It’s like a constant punch to the gut, a painful reminder that I’m the odd one out. The black sheep of the family that no one wants around.

And heaven forbid I ever try to integrate myself into my partner’s social circle. Their friends act like I have the plague or something! They’ll go out of their way to avoid me, or they’ll act all weird and distant whenever I’m around. It’s so uncomfortable and embarrassing, I usually end up just avoiding those situations altogether.

My partner is always so careful around me too, like they’re walking on eggshells. They sugarcoat everything and avoid being honest with me, probably because they’re worried I’ll freak out or something. It’s like they’re constantly trying to cover their tracks and protect themselves from me. And I have no idea why!

I just want to be able to have normal, healthy relationships like everyone else. Is that too much to ask? To be able to make friends, to be accepted by my family, to feel comfortable around my partner’s loved ones? Why do I have to be the outcast, the one that everyone avoids and mistrusts?

Sometimes I wonder if I’m just destined to be alone forever. Like, is this my cross to bear? To never have those meaningful connections that everyone else seems to take for granted? The thought of it is enough to send me into a spiral of depression and hopelessness.

But I can’t give up, right? I have to keep trying, even if it feels completely futile. Maybe one day, I’ll find my people. The ones who can see past this “wicked reputation” that I apparently have and just give me a chance to be myself. Until then, I guess I’ll just keep putting myself out there and hoping for the best. Wish me luck, because lord knows I’m gonna need it.

I feel like I’ve exhausted every possible strategy when it comes to making friends and connections. I’ve tried being the life of the party, cracking jokes and being the center of attention. I’ve tried being the quiet, reserved one, hoping that people will be drawn to my mysterious aura. I’ve even gone the vulnerable, open-book route, sharing my deepest fears and insecurities in an attempt to forge real bonds.

And you know what? None of it works. It’s like I’m trapped in some twisted social experiment, doomed to forever be on the outside looking in. No matter how I present myself, no matter how much I put myself out there, I’m met with the same cold indifference and distrust. It’s enough to make a person want to just give up on humanity altogether.

And the really messed up part is, I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve this kind of treatment. I try to be a good person, to be kind and considerate to everyone I meet. But it’s like there’s this invisible force field around me, repelling people away before they even get a chance to know me. What is it about me that’s so off-putting and untrustworthy?

Is it my job history, the fact that I can never seem to hold down a steady gig? Or maybe it’s my lack of close relationships and friends – does that make me seem unstable or unreliable somehow? I’ve racked my brain trying to figure it out, but I always come up empty. It’s like I’m trapped in this endless cycle of rejection, with no clear way out.

And the worst part is, it’s not just casual acquaintances that can’t stand me. Even my own family, the people who are supposed to love and support me unconditionally, want nothing to do with me. We used to be so close, but now they barely even speak to me. They’re always making excuses not to get together, and I’m pretty sure they have a secret group chat where they complain about me.

It’s humiliating, really. I’ll reach out, trying to make plans or just check in, and I’m met with vague responses and obvious avoidance. And then I’ll see them all out living their best lives, laughing and having the time of their lives without me. It’s like a constant punch to the gut, a painful reminder that I’m the odd one out. The black sheep of the family that no one wants around.

And it’s not just my family – even my partner’s friends treat me like I have the plague or something! They’ll go out of their way to avoid me, or they’ll act all weird and distant whenever I’m around. It’s so uncomfortable and embarrassing, I usually end up just avoiding those situations altogether. And my partner is always so careful around me too, like they’re walking on eggshells. They sugarcoat everything and avoid being honest, probably because they’re worried I’ll freak out or something.

I just don’t understand it. What is it about me that is so off-putting and untrustworthy? Why do I have to be the outcast, the one that everyone avoids and mistrusts? I try so hard to be a good person, to put myself out there and be vulnerable. But it always blows up in my face, without fail. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just doomed to be alone forever – like, is this my cross to bear? To never have those meaningful connections that everyone else seems to take for granted?

The thought of it is enough to send me into a spiral of depression and hopelessness. I mean, how do you even come back from something like that? When literally every single person in your life, from your coworkers to your own family, seems to despise you and want nothing to do with you? It’s enough to make a person want to give up entirely.

But I can’t, right? I have to keep trying, even if it feels completely and utterly futile. Maybe one day, I’ll find my people. The ones who can see past this “wicked reputation” that I apparently have and just give me a chance to be myself. Until then, I guess I’ll just keep putting myself out there and hoping for the best. Wish me luck, because lord knows I’m gonna need it.